Galerie des poubelles

melting snowflakes

2010-02-04T11:18:00.003+01:00

Okay, so here i am. No idea how to begin, nor how to end this post. Sounds quite melo-dramatic right? Hmm, guess I am a bit. Before you're going to read this useless thing called; ''illy's random thoughts''; gonna tell you that it's going to be random..... Okay. Haha.

This morning i woke up to two songs; misguided ghosts by paramore and calm under the waves, by Maria Mena. You probably think; wtf, since when are you able to listen to two songs at a time. Well, i can.

Nah, i'm just kiddin. (The wrong thing about this post is that i actually think my jokes are funny). But i do believe that there's this weird power, behind ''shuffle''. Cause somehow, it always picks exactly the songs complementing my situation and state of mind!

Like misguided ghosts, is for me, about how i find it quite difficult to leave everything i have here for something totally unknown. (Me moving to the big UK!). I know i have the guts to actually do it, but man.. i think i'm going to be scared and i love my family so much that it's just too hard to create this distance. And somehow, because everything considering my health is such a shithole right now, i feel like something's telling me; ''see, how much they care about you, how could you leave them!!!''. But then again i don't feel like i'm leaving them, and choosing for education. God, i hate these decisions. I wish my dad was here to help me with this. Although deep inside, i know he would just encourage me to take the big step and move to England. Cause that's just how he was; desiring everything that would make me happy in the long run, regardless his own temporary happiness. I wish i had that ''long-run''-insight, would've made things a lot easier.

Hmm, and the second song was calm under the waves, by maria mena. And it's not so much directly linked to love, right now. But more of just letting go, laying my trust in somebody else's hands. Cause, let's be honest.. we have been doing that for all our lives. We only think we can control our lives SO MUCH! (at least, that's what i strongly believe). Still, it's also about how great it would be to be reaching this deep, intense sleep and letting everything just flow away. Not thinking about choices, exams, health-problems, people, which cereal i eat in the morning. Haha i know, lame joke. Seriously though, i'd love to have that peace while being anesthized. Just not for too long though. A doctor at the hospital asked me whether i was scared for my surgery tomorrow, and after several nights of ZERO SLEEP, i responded so heavily; no, i just want to get rid of this pain. Suddenly he began to laugh out loud, and actually, THAT was the only thing that really did scare me. When i'm going to be all through this, and i'm definitely going to be such a fit, healthy person, i'm going to write a damn good post about the health system here in holland and why i, after having experienced all of this, i never EVER want to become a doctor. At least not in a developed country, that's for sure.

Wish me the best of luck, and hopefully, i will get through this and i'll be titanium woman! (They're gonna insert this titanium-barricade-thingie so i'll never get another hernia within the area i have one now).

A few days ago i made some pictures outside, not really that interesting but i thought it'd be fun to just upload my photos.

I’m tired now, I’ll see you when I wake up

I’ve heard it’s pretty where you are

I let go

I have a dream...

2010-01-26T23:33:00.006+01:00

I know this is going to sound so cheesy, psycho and way too ideal, but I still want to share a dream i've been having ever since i can remember.

I think i was like, six years old when i dreamed about sailing on a white steamboat (like the one in the early mickeymouse cartoons). So in this dream i see myself standing on this boat, looking very philosophical and feeling extremely happy. When I look around I see that I'm being surrounded by amazingly huge, healthy, tall and green trees. The small river i'm passing through is deep blue and in the distance i see this beautiful, breathtaking blue bird, flying towards me.

While i'm enjoying the view, and the ecstatic feelings i'm experiencing, i can see i'm approaching a curve. And even though i have no idea of what's hidden behind the curve, i don't have any fear at all. I keep smiling, and i think it's because my intense happiness covers all my fears. When I wake up I'm not even disappointed that i did, cause somewhere.. i've got this strong feeling that i will experience this. I know that one day, i'll be that person on that boat, meeting the blue bird.

I guess you could connect this dream i'm having since i was a kid, to so many underlying meanings and stuff.. but i don't like to exclude the meanings of it. Maybe once i try do to this, i won't be having this dream anymore.. and that would be a waste!

Okay okay, i'm not going to nag about my health-situation right now 'cause just thinking about everything makes me so tired! But I do have to say that pain does bring people closer, yepp.. i keep sayin it! And by this, i don't mean that people generally don't care about you, it's just that you do get a bit shocked, emotional wise, when realizing a person you care for is feeling like crap. You don't see me complaining about that right now, especially not how i'm being treated by everybody in my life right now (uugh, sushi, chocolate, ice cream, ''mom, could you get me anything which contains sugar?!''), it's ok.. i'll be burning off those calories within no time after i recover. Man, i miss working out so much. Just the thought of running for at least 5 minutes, makes me so happy! And god, i can't wait to go back to kickboxing again. But i'll definitely gonna take it slow, since i've learnt that i'm really just human and my body needs some rest as well. You know, sometimes i do try to ignore that.. sometimes i just think i'm this invincible person and not in an arrogant, superior way, but more like; ''there are sooo many people doing this, why can't i?''. Maybe that's the reason why i'm always looking for new stuff to do, and exploring what's within my reach and beyond.

Anyways, i try to maintain being positive and not to let getting this disease the best of me. Yesterday i was discussing this with my best friend, bar (aka fluffy deluxe); most of the time you learn from mistakes, only when you experience it yourself. I do think people are weak, in core. That's why i still don't understand why we're always being so demeaning towards animals, haha i bet they think we're all morons.

I got this incredibly cute fake kitten, from fluffy deluxe! Hahaha, she's def the only person who would buy these things for me. Thanks love, it's still making me laugh. Although I didn't get your tabloids, are you encouraging me to go through plastic surgery? Hahaa, heidi montag (woops, pratt) is not exactly my idea of an accomplished, intelligent and independent woman.

Gonna sleep now, or at least.. making an attempt!

Cheers hobbits!

the world evolves around sushi

2009-11-04T20:40:00.000+01:00

Haha.

One thing, at two times

2009-08-29T01:01:00.011+02:00

You're not here. You weren't there.

You were here. You left there.

You left places. You filled spaces.

You drank purple stuff.

I discouraged you.

We're not here, not there.

We were everywhere.

____________________________________

Don't think I forgot because I was watering the flowers outside.

They have to grow you know, they have to bloom, so the smell of fresh cut flowers can reach you. Just like the cartoons, the seductive hand drags you with her, down here, where we're still stuck. Compare us to the roots of a cactus in a deserted desert.

You ask me why I'm always talking about me and you, you and I, why? I tell you it's not about the reasons, it's about nothing. 'Cause nothing is what remains, reason is unsure and leaves us, with questions, when it leaves. It's ok, and the corners of your mouth curl into a proud grin. It's all me, conceited.

I think I need a new thing to speak about. Like persian fables, told mouth to mouth, for hundreds of ancient years. I want to be that one link in the chain, that changes the story into something heroic. Not just delivering, but also adding. Multiply myself, and adding myself to everything, and everyone around me. I know you don't like it, but it's you, that taught me to have these grotesque ideas.
So let me be you, let me be us, and I will make decisions that will make the flowers bloom even more. And someday, if I'm trying to reach out my hand, all in despair, I'll be glad if you deny it.

Van HDRs

Visual thoughts

2009-08-08T19:30:00.006+02:00

Every once in a while I wake up in a drought
My fresh mind gets disturbed by an earthquake
The vibrations turn into trills of chills
I shover, I seek for confirmation through the cracks in the soil I am shaking on
I look up and in the far distance I see a little lake, accompanied by a lonely, healthy palm tree
I forget the fatigue and ache, I let them blow away by the breeze that gently strikes my iced face
Liberated from my inner flame, I fly to my nutritious sight
Only to find out it was nothing more than a fata morgana
Driven by hope, I take one more step towards the disappearing oasis
When I make the fatal mistake of falling into a crack
I look down and feel the darkness grabbing my feet with hot hands
The fall seems infinite, still, I don't have a sense of time nor place
Finally I'm free from the earthly illusions

act like a shark with a fake-fin

2009-06-29T20:58:00.008+02:00

Hidiho!

Yeaa yeaah, I know I've been away for too long. I had many good reasons though: exams and homework! These last weeks have been stressful, and they seemed never-ending. But I survived! All hail, Ilham. Gaw, I know.. I gotta spit it out; my dear disney buddy MJ has left this earth! It's so surreal, I always thought Michael was immortal. Alright, that's not true, but still; he was the king of pop! Hmm, it's a shame so just blame it on the boogie!

In the meantime I'm almost crippled. My rightleg has been bothering me for three months now, and it got to the stage where I can't walk for more than 1 km. How f-up is that?! It's hard to remain optimistic when you're not able to sleep properly and you keep having this nagging pain in your leg. You know that feeling when you can't sleep because you can't find the right position to sleep in, and then you just give up because you're so tired and then you fall asleep? Well, that's exactly my every-night routine nowadays, except for the fact that I can't give up 'cause every position is painful. Scheisse right?
Better appreciate your body, without it, you'd be nowhere (literally and figurally speaking).
Alright! Enough complaints ! BREAKING GOOD-NEWS: I'm going to Bratislavaaaaa! No, it's not in Slovenia, but in Slovakia! I'll be leaving friday night and we're staying in a PINK hostel! I'm curious about the city, it's so divided (the old town, and new city with modern architecture) and I think, underrated.

New series of pictures: ''your heavy hearted childhood''

Soon I'll post some random stuff about observations and theories. Just stay tuned!

'Cause no one rolls like my gangsta bro!

That's all folks!

Daffodils in Spain

2009-05-28T18:55:00.014+02:00

Hola a todos!

SO I've been to Spain, Salamanca. So it was quite amazing. So I did alot. So I met cool people. So yeah, I wanna go back.

Remember when I said I would love to have the power to stretch out moments so I could enjoy them more? Well, this pronouncement, totally applies to my visit to Salamanca.
A small summary, so you have a notion of what I have been doin in Salamanca: Visited 2 museums, one with art deco and art nouveau, with a big collection of very scary ''muñecas'' (dolls). The other museum was located in Segovia, that's a small city we visited on Thursday. I loved Segovia, really small and typical, colorful spanish buildings. We wanted to enter the cathedral but we weren't aloud to. I did visit the cathedral in Salamanca, with Ravi and Rodante. Everyday we went to school, and we had a teacher who was thinking out loud. Which was kind of funny.Oh, and it was so weird, EVERY day we were late for school or appointments! It was like fate didn't want us to be on time, since we got interrupted by people talking to us, every time!

In Salamanca there was a big square, ''plaza Mayor''. This functioned as a meetingpoint for students. If you wanted to go out, but you first had to meet up with other people, you just had to say ''debajo del reloj'' (below the clock). Haha, it seemed like all the people in Salamanca were having mysophobia! They cleaned the ''plaza mayor'' every night, and if you looked closely you saw that everyone was cleaning! Kind of suspicious, hmmm.... ''the Secret of Salamanca''.

Eh, but yeah! So we had two suitmates who were off the hook! They were from Boston, and they came with a group from their University. Shout outs to Carlotta, Rosmery, Ravi, and the whole group! I wish I had the pictures of when we were Salsa-dancing. It was so much fun!
We did have a salsa lesson at our school in Salamanca, and the teacher was a liiiitle narcistic. Haha, he really thought he was all that!

Nuf talk, pictures time!!!

The most delicious ''churros con chocolate''!!! Houston...I think I just landed on a Cathedral woops.. Sweet ''calles'' One entrance/exit of the Plaza Mayor El reloj! Dunno what it is, but it was across from our house

Heading back to Holland In the morning, waiting an hour and a half for the bus! Meet art.. Looks like dark foam

Avila!

This guy was just downright amazing.

Everything, or nothing?

2009-05-14T18:33:00.006+02:00

Hi flowers! Get ready for a very messy post! Haha, I'm very happy at this moment. Aah. Though I'm pretty irritated by my boring lay-out. Gonna change that soon enough! Eh, ánd I ate sushi today, ánd it was sincerely nice. Ánd last week I've had tons of tests to make at school. And they all went great! Hehe, my goal is to have an average of 8/10. Minimum. Haha. Oeeeh, sunday I'll be leaving for Salamanca! Ai ai aiii! So I'm listening to buena vista social club all the time to get in the mood. So Yeah, I know it's pretty early, since I won't leave this awkward country until sunday.
I think Spain has such a warm, inviting culture. Very much like Moroccan (reconquista and the Moors, duh.. huge influence), but even more inviting. It's like they always want you to join them for a dance on a very warm summernight, on a ''plaza del amor!''. People here are so like the weather. It always changes, but most of the time they're distant and cold, resembling the rain. Meh. Can't wait to get out. I mean, I love Amsterdam, but I think that's more because I grew up here and the architecture in the city is so typical. By the way, I want to learn more about che guevara and Fidel Castro! And more South-American history.

Got play in a few minutes, excited! Today I had a philosphy exam, and it was about knowledge theory. So what we can know for sure and searching for boundries which restrict us to know more than we can have any knowledge about. Very interesting, but also very difficult.
Berkeley claimed that if you have never apperceived something, it doesn't excist. But I think he contradicts himself by saying that God dóes exist. he also says that if you, for example, are at school and you can't see your house, that it's not there. So we give qualities life. I think that's selfish. Because if you agree with him, then that's like saying that this whole universe wouldn't be here if we all closed our eyes and that's extremely selfish!
I get back later on that, oh and I'm going to write a fable soon!

Lots of love and stuff!

Build your laugh

2009-05-10T14:11:00.005+02:00

...so you can live in it.

Hello mankind!
I've finally found out what I want to study, and where! Suspense drums... Architecture! Yeah man, in London baby!!! Well at least, at Sheffield Uni or UCL (University College London). Pretty exciting huh! I've always loved designing, and technology. So the combination is very appealing to me. There still has to be done loads of stuff for my portfolio. But it's gonna be crack-a-lackin''! Soon there's gonna be a post dedicated to my love for buildings, design and more...

Next up is a new song from Regina Spektor's new album; Far. The song is called; Laughing with.. and I adore it. Just listen to it, the song will do the rest.

Yesterday I went to ''Scheveningen'' with my kick-ass lil bro and my sister. Here are some pics I took:

I especially like the last one. It has rest (sunset), speed (smudged trees), and continuity (the grey beam of the highway) in it...

Hi! My name is...what?!

2009-05-04T17:32:00.010+02:00

‘I·lham’ noun, the; f -s

['īe`lem]

0.1 A highly intelligent, young female, who gets often irritated by the way other homo sapiens pronounce her name.

0.2 Intuïtion

0.3 Inspiration

Finally! A post dedicated to my name. It was about darn time! For almost eightteen years I have been daily confronted by the fact that so many people can't pronounce my name the right way. It annoys me when people do not even make the little effort to remember the pronounciation of my name.
Some facts about my name; - It's an Arabian name for girls
- It's a common name for boys in Asia
- The president of Azerbaijan is called Ilham
-In Dutch my name expresses my disgust for pork
- My name has two meanings: Intuition and Inspiration

Oke, with that being said; some random and irrelevant stuff!

Smoking and showing off cigarettes in commercials in France is against the law.

I long back to the days when I was in Paris. The city that always will hold an interest for me. It doesn't matter when you visit la ville de l'amour, during the summer or the winter, it's always wonderful. Last year I visited Paris with my friends after I was done with my final exams. I wish I could give you the feeling I have now while thinking about the days I spent there. We did so much, we saw a lot and the most important thing is that we made the most of every moment! There were no excuses for being tired, we would sleep when our lights blurred out.
The atmosphere, the fresh air of flowers that blossom, the smell of liberty. Liberté, égalité, fraternité!

A lot of times I catch myself thinking about the will and the power to stretch moments. There are moments in my life which I would love to make last longer, so I can enjoy them more.

It's still morning but I'm already craving towards a plate full of sushi!!!

I desperately want to visit Beijing. And if you want to greet someone in latvian, just say; Labdien! I was looking for a pic of sushi, when I came across these chopsticks:

And they reminded me of a compass! Would be weird, wouldn't it? To eat with a compass..''Mrs.Wong, this piece of sushi does not have the right size!''

Fear for what's near

2009-05-01T18:48:00.002+02:00

Ha. So, I'm afraid of getting old.

I'm only seventeen, almost eightteen. But god, I'm just só afraid that I won't reach my goals. I have such high expectations of myself ánd my life, and if I won't get to accomplish them, I think I'll be so depressed. I would understand those people who crawl into a fetal position for the rest of their lives. Sometimes I truly wish I wasn't so demanding, and I would've loved to be pleased and content with everything I have and what's within my comfort zone. But then again, maybe you won't experience the ecstatic feeling of accomplishments. If my life would lack those moments, man.. I don't even want to think about that.
I have so many dreams, yet I have no idea where to begin. Also, I'm só interested in almost everything, that I los grip and the excitement gets too broad to choose something. In about a year I have to subscribe myself for a study. I think I want to study abroad, actually that's for sure. I guess, haha. I would love to study psychology, philosophy, journalism, architecture, foreign languages, economics, history and so much more! I wish I was a rabbit, they eat, sleep, they're fast and they're driven by instinct. No mind present, who doubts about every single thing. Just a simple life. I would love that rest..

I was reading a magazine, before physiotherapy (yeah, my leg is killing me!) and I read this little poem, made by a kid. I translated it, and gave it a twist. It's beautiful, I love how children think! Hope you like it.

The sun is going to sleep
Please close the door
Or else the darkness will enter our room

connecting myself again

2009-03-27T16:52:00.007+01:00

Bonjour!

Haha, you're probably have been thinking that I fell into a hole, and never came out. Or you thought that I packed my bags and left this country to live in the wild. Or you could have thought about so many reasons why I didn't write anymore that you could write a book about it!
But oh well, the reason why I didn't write is just too simple: I was lazy. Yes yes, I was being a lazy bastard. It wasn't like I haven't been doing anything, on the contrary, I have been doing a lot! Projects, school, working out, living a healthy life, thinking about the future, discussing. Actually the past two months have been AUWESOME (Substantial's spin to the word awesome), full of energy. But clearly not enough energy to write new posts. I can't guarantee you that from now on, I'll write three times a week. But I'll try to write more!

By the way, I'm not going to summarize the past two months. It's too much, and I'll probably forget 80% of it. At this moment I've joined a site called; postcrossing.com. And it's pretty cool! First you make a profile, and write down your adress. Then you can ask for an adress to send YOUR postcard to. This adress can be of Mari-Louise from Dijon, but it can also be Alaneo's adress from Hawaii. The moment you ask for this adress, someone in the world receives your adress so he or she can send you a postcard. The fun thing about this system is that you are always guaranteed of receiving a postcard. And another thing I like about it, is that it's real. You truly write something down, you put effort into buying (picking out) stamps and after that you send it into the big world. It's such a cool invention, I wish I could've invented it. Beh. But nevertheless, I think it's great that it exists. These are the postcard I have received today:
Mario from Tongeren (Belgium) Nina from Hyvinkää (Finland)

I love thinking while sitting in the bus. It gives you the rest you need to discover things you know, of which you thought you didn't. A few days ago I was thinking about ''missed'' chances in life. And I wrote this down:
It's not a chance, if it's missed. In fact, missing a chance does not exist. By this, I mean that fate is the only thing that is. Everything that falls out of your own fate, doesn't exist, and for that, doesn't matter. Because we don't have any sure knowledge about it. So don't break your head about things that didn't work out, they weren't meant to be in the first place!

A moment is filled with posibilities, it's your fate, that picks out one posibility. Which determines your daily life, and sometimes, your future..

Hey Batgirl, why so sad?

2009-03-21T17:37:00.004+01:00

Masquerade Ball tonight.

Birthday, minus the Happy

2009-03-15T19:44:00.002+01:00

Hello mankind

Hmmph. Today is the day my dear daddy would be turning 52. Fuck. And it's almost two years since the worst day. Twelfth of April 2007. This is the date that has been so burned into my memories. It's the first date I don't have to think about. It's the first date I'll tell you if you wake me up in the middle of the night. It's the first date that reminds me that life could stab you so badly. But you can't hold back the knife, you can't stop it. And exactly that is what hurts me the most. Not being able to do anything at all, it's like you just let a part of you slip away, so reckless. It's not that I'm blaming myself for his absence, I just hate the fact that things are the way they are.
But I won't be talking about this any further in this post. I won't be letting him down!

SO! Last week was one fast, but busy busy rush! I had so many tests, and I had to travel to Wageningen. I was attending two classes of a study called; enterprise- and consumersciences. Yeah, was nice. But I think I couldn't put my creativity into it. Later in the evening, acting-''class'' started! It was at nowhere (Yeah, the place where toolbox took place), and my friend, Bar and I were so damned nervous. But it all turned out great, and the ''teacher'', Glenn (MC Fit), is a cool dude. We're a group of six people, and everyone seemed nice.
Haha, oh it was so weird!!! We had to sit on a chair in front of the other five and tell a lie. No, I'm not explaining this properly. Look, Glenn first asked us a question, and you had to answer it like it was based on a true story. Well, my question was; Your dad (somehow I ALWAYS get the dads!?) invites your uncle in to stay for a while. So he sleeps in the basement but each night you hear some weird noises. Aren't you curious to know what he's doing? So when I started the story, I really didn't know how it would continue. But I started off with weird habits, and my uncle was always painting trashcans. Haaha, I wasn't even thinking about my blog! (Sorry blog) I guess I'm the one having a weird habit; using trashcans as my main source of inspiration...
Haha, but oh well.. the story worked and I did very well. My trashcans were convincing enough in the end. WAY TO GO TRASHCANS!

Yesterday after going to the gym, I bought shoes to customize! I used Mondriaan's painting as inspiration. (Oh god, the trashcans are getting neglected!) Tomorrow I'll post some pics!

A poem and snagglepuss:

We have changed the walls
The walls have changed
We broke down the walls
The walls were rebuild
We tried to remove the pressure
But the pressure changed us

Be opinionated!

Build through walls

2009-02-22T12:58:00.008+01:00

Yeah yeah yeah, I know...I've been awful to my blog! But this time I'm back, 'cause i've arrived in a new era in my life. No, fo real!

Man.. I'm getting old. Almost eightteen within a few months. AAARRGGHH!!! Gonna study for my driver's license, but I want to get my motorcycle license first! I really do feel like an eightteen year-old, no.. at times actually even older. But then again, I like the fact that I'm still seventeen..(DAAANCCINNGG QUUEEEEEN!) and I've got my whole life still in front of me. At least, Theoretically. Not that it won't be the case when I'll be turning eightteen tho.

My life has been quite weird lately.. I've had times in my life when I could link it to a certain mood/feeling. But the last few weeks have been, hmmm..awkward in a sense. Nehhh.. OH! But I'm such a happy shmappy that it's finally getting A LITTLE bit warmer. The sun rises earlier, and goes down later on the day. I Think light-therapy does help.

You know, I've been thinking about how people act. And I see that some intelligent people (as in; a wise, good person, capable of recoginzing their faults and accomplishments), get so carried away by love. Isn't it odd, that love does so much to you? It can change the way you live through days. Love shuts off the rational thinking. Oh god, now I sound just like a Hallmark-postcard..haha. Valentines-day sucked, and not just because I don't have a valentine, even if I had.. it would have sucked even more! The truth is, ladies and genties, VD isn't about love at all, it's about consuming. Buying everything pink and red you can find in a store, so you can tell your buddie you did some effort for him/her. Well, woo-hoo, throwing your stuff in a basket is really a big deal man! Those people deserve golden medals.

Oh dudes, I still havent posted the magnetic poetry.. gonna do that now. creditosss go to Rique

Here are two poems I made last week!

Can you recognize my shapes?
I can't armour myself
so I'll be like I've been
Don't be thrown off by
my hard, shiny sting
Because the next moment I'll be
the honey made by
the bee, which I
was a second ago

____________________

I know what it feels like
to have the world
dropping to your knees.
It will find a way to penetrate you
Enter you
Mess you all up
But don't believe it,
for that's the only way
to avoid an earthquake
_________________________________________________________

Sorry for the messy post, it feels like my thoughts are all over the place. I'll add stuff if I have the urge to.

Cheer-ios!

Dr.Suess, you look/smell/sound so nice!

2009-02-10T22:06:00.005+01:00

Sight, smell and hear. No photoshop, just the camera mixed with my mind..

This post is a tribute to one of the most creative writers; Dr.Suess.
Sum quotes;

*“How did it get so late so soon? Its night before its afternoon. December is here before its June. My goodness how the time has flewn. How did it get so late so soon?”

*"I'm afraid sometimes you'll play lonely games too, games you can't win because you'll play against you"

*“I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!”

Peace to all beings

duuuuude!

2009-02-04T23:00:00.010+01:00

Random stuff! New thingie: no need to talk anymore. Just high-four each other with a panda (alien, skull or a bee) and exchange info; sites, hyves, blogs, emails, phonenumbers etc. Silly billy if you ask me..

The next picture is not meant for the weak-hearted among us.

Well, it's definitely creative! She should've changed the color of the ribbon tho..

Oh, by the way. I came to a conclusion yesterday. People who care about you sincerely, will never lose interest in you. People who don't, will disappoint you.

It's a world filled with shrimps!

2009-01-31T20:19:00.003+01:00

Amsterdam through my... uh, legs?

''Kiss from a rose...yeaaahh''

Poor ol' Mr.Shrimp!

Thank god for premium shrimps

a giggly heart

2009-01-30T18:47:00.007+01:00

hey hey hey!

I'm such a happy hippo, and it's not just because the sun is shining and birds are already waking me up. (Which is weird. You know, I think it's about time we should do something about the natural environment..) But the real deal is that my brother is back since monday! Hooray! And, a typical ilham-welcoming-thingie wouldn't be complete without the weeping.. Yeah, I was telling myself again I'm not going to cry when I would see him cause it wouldn't make sense. But I think common sense left me and the heart ruled again.
The moment I caught sight of him, belonged in a movie. Really, it easily could have been a scene out of a movie. Everything was present; the I-haven't-seen-you-in-a-long-time hugs including the tears and the people standing around us, giving us the warm and understanding smile. The only thing that cracked up the moment was the loud calls of the flight-numbers. But even that couldn't break my broad smile. I felt so intensely happy, that I questioned myself if loving someone so deeply could be healthy. Ah well, just enjoy the moment, don't worry about things that aren't certain. But then again, what is certain in life? (Sorry, descartes is still racing through my mind)

Ah, you know what I was thinking the other day? No? Well, I'm going to tell you right now. Haha.
Alright, see, I was thinking about the ways we express our pain in different languages. I think it's quite interesting. For example; in Holland we say on a very sharp tone ''AUW!''. In the US people scream; ''OUCH!''. If you want to know how to express your pain in a maroccan way, you easily use; ''HHH!!!'' Hahaa, yeah.. it's just one syllable. But a very hard one, since you have to produce it out of your throat! Anyway, so I'm still searching for other words, maybe how eskimo's say that they're in pain..?

Oh! Yesterday during philosophy Rik and I decided to move magnetic words and make poems. And we made the most emo poems ever! They were off the chain, I'll post them next time.
(Here's a site where you can do it online: http://www.shockedpoetry.com/) So, here's a poem to make you feel a little depressed:

Remember the way your hair
kept falling into thin layers
of hope?
Remember how my teeth screamed
for a loose grip?
Remember my muscles
feeling limp?
Remember when you were
just a dimmed light?
Do you remember me?
'Cause I still remember you..

bitter popcorn

2009-01-24T21:06:00.004+01:00

Hi dudes, my next post will be a longer one, with more things going on. But I really need to tell you about the movie I saw yesterday.

My sister came up to me and told me about this new movie with Will Smith, and my first reaction was: ''God, not another one!''. The media described it as ''superb'', ''amazing'' and ''excellent''. Well, if I had to describe it, I would combine all of those words into one. And that wouldn't even been enough, it's a heart wrenching story that really made me think. And the weird part of it all is that I usually don't cry while watching movies, but man.. this one touched me to the core! I think I cried four times, and ten times I almost cried, cause I thought the guy sitting next to me was getting sick of me crying all the time. Haha.
It is one of those movies that you don't know what is happening till the last thirty minutes, in the beginning I couldn't really understand what the fuck was going on, but then all is so clear and then it just grabs you right into the depression. There are not many movies that move you the way this did, it made me sit quietly for sometime after it ended, the after-effect had a lasting impact. I'm still feeling so melancholic!
I think you should go see it! You have to see it, it'll definitely be a contribution to your knowledge and your way of thinking. If it won't, then you're just made of hard, cold stone, my dear.

Credits go to the scriptwriters and director for allowing this film to exist, it was amazing.

knives through glass

2009-01-20T16:14:00.009+01:00

Hi bonobos!

Two weeks of school-stress is finally over! God, I'm so glad I made it save and sound. Haha, oh and by the way, this was pretty odd... There was this French competition at school. It was about a book we all read during class; un secret. So we had to write a letter and pretend that the writer was the father of his son (no, really?!), Philippe. He had to explain to his son why he didn't tell him about his stepbrother and his marriage (with another woman) before he met Philippe's mom. It's okay if this doesn't make any sense to you, cause I'm the worst explainer. Euh, so yeah. And I actually didn't know that it was a competition, until I was done writing the letter, and was like; ''oh, fuck... ah well, I probably wouldn't win, even if I tried my best''. So three days later I was sitting in class and the teacher was calling the names of the three nominated kids. I was busy thinking about all the stuff I still had to do when I got home, when suddenly I heard; ''Ilham!''. At first I thought she just called my name just to check if I was paying attention, so I said; ''Yes?''. And then I thought; ''oh, huh, what?.. am I nominated?!'' But then she told us they had to pick one out of the three nominated students to participate in the continental competition. Which was a bummer, cause she chose Jim eventually. But hell, I mean, I really thought I messed that whole letter up! So what if I had really put an effort into it?! Haha, c'est dommage.

I'm truly getting sick of the eternal war between Israel and Palestine. I wish people weren't so damned stupid to think they could get their way, by murdering so many innocents! For fuck's sake, even kids! I feel embarrassed man, I feel embarrassed by mankind. People can be so nauseating. For now, I wish I was a chinchilla living in a forest, in Madagascar.

Good, now I got that out of my system; I want you to read my new poem. READ IT! Hehe sorry, maybe I'm not different from a dictator.

Last page, no longer more
Write not on paper
But on air
For breath,
is your next page

AAAH!!! I NEED the summer!!! I can't wait for the sun to shine and to feel so full inside while listening to birds singing. Oh goodies (not serious), it's so nice to just wake up on a (I compare thee to a) summer's day, when your whole room is filled with light and to hear all those little birds outside, tjirping their favorite tunes. (I've been watching way too much Bob Ross, i'm afraid.)

''T-tell your boyfriend if he says hes got beef, That I'm a vegetarian and I ain't fucking scared of him.''

Cycling on ice

2009-01-10T19:30:00.010+01:00

I'll catch up later dudes, got lots of stuff untouched for school! Argh!!! But here's a poem I wrote last week. Enjoy silly billies!

Shovering my flame out of sight
Hold in my breath, so it won't blurr out
Emerging from distance
Telling me to let the air feed my lungs
Why should I believe, that what is uncertain
That what doesn't hold an extince near
will not affect the color of my heart
Lay my head into the soft, comforting idea
of having myself
I can not lose what I don't have anymore

Vaint crosses my mind, overshadows all the colors
Again, I feel the flame inside getting stronger

So still, I would be under the waves
It'll wash over, there will only be foam left
Foam, in my hands
Disappearing through the spaces between my fingers

Postparis Parrotpie

2009-01-03T20:11:00.006+01:00

Haha, I really don’t know how to start this post. It’s weird, I’ve got so much to say, so much at once but nothing’s coming out the right way. I think I’ll just throw things in between and stuff. So don’t blame me if this post gets all messed up and stuff.

So, long time no posts, due to fun things and relaxing. I went to Paris for a few days, and it was great! I have these things, which remind me of trips or adventures. This time it was just the feeling inside, I felt happy, peaceful and haha mysterious. I don’t know if you can even feel mysterious, but I really did inside. I don’t know how to describe it… I don’t mean mysterious in the sense of a mysterious temptation or sumthn haha. Anyway, there are a few things that strongly remind me of events, like music (a song I listen to a lot during a period of time), a scent or a feeling (this time the mystery). I think it’s pretty cool things can remind you so good of the past and they do put you right into that time and mood.

The first day my family and I went to the hotel, where we checked in and it was nice. They had an Asian spa centre, with massages, a pool and a sauna. But the sauna was occupied every minute, so I skipped that one. Then we went shopping and explored the neighbourhood. Was nice as well, lots of castles and old houses which reminded me of small Spanish abodes.

Next day we woke up early to pay a whole day visit to the centre of Paris. This was an exhausting day but we had lots of fun! My little brother conquered his fear for escalators! That was one of the most delighted moments of the day for me. Cause he’s always really scared to make that first step onto the escalator, and I don’t blame him! Those things are creepy! But it was quite funny, cause we were under the Louvre, and you had these humongous stairs, that just went on and on. So he looked at them, his eyes widened and I asked him if he wanted to go onto the escalator with me.. then he immediately said; ‘’yes!’’. We went over to the Eiffel-tower and that was cool, the whole tower was blue but because of the frost the elevator didn’t work. So we couldn’t go up! That was shitty, but afterwards we went to this Italian restaurant and had the most delicious pizza! My sister argued with the waiter cause he put whipped cream in her cappuccino, and that’s just wrong, You don’t put whipped cream into a cappuccino, and especially not into my sisters! Haha she went bananas over that, and the waiter said there wasn’t whipped cream in it, but that was bull cause you could see it floating on top! So that made her even angrier, haha man I love family vacations!

Day three was New Year's Eve and we were planning on going to Mickey & co. As I stepped outside the hotel, I realised it was freezing! The cold was embracing us in its majestic form! And we were going to walk a whole day in a park! But oh well, we went anyways and it was mucho fun. Stood an hour and a half in a queue just to get a pic with lovely Mickey. Insane, I know. The fireworks show was amazing! But people are really weird animals. Since it was so cold outside everyone wanted to sit in the restaurants, so every restaurant was full and people screamed and argued with each other about a friggin’ table! Can’t understand how people could get so worked up about a seat, they just mess their whole day up by fighting about tables. But it was a great ending of the day tho, with all of the fireworks. I don’t really have a big connection with New Year and stuff, cause you can change your life every day. I think you don’t have to wait for a new year to come for a change. But I just like the coming together (and the food). By seeing all those people under a rain of fireworks, I realised it’s a pretty messed up world. People here are celebrating the new year and planning goals like; eating less and buying less, while other people on this exact planet are celebrating the fact they’ve made it through the year, if not.. the day. But I guess that’s just how things are in this monkey business, and I hope I can be one of those people who stand in between and make a connection between the worlds on earth.

Minnie-me

Galeries Lafayette

Art in Lafayette

His face was everywhere, pity me!

yeah.. so don't mess with me

Hits from Paris:

Hey hey Blinky Bills!

2008-12-22T19:15:00.005+01:00

Through all the Christmas trees, lights saying ‘’Merry Christmas’’ a thousand times in a row, houses with lighted reindeers in front of them and white sprayed stars on the windows just to fake the snow and believe that there IS a Christmas-spirit, I found myself oblivious to all this. My last school-week past very quickly, but also very intense. I had a lot to do and a lot to finish but I didn’t manage to get all things done well. I had an economics exam and I think I failed miserably, I’ve never had an F for a subject, but I think I hit the jackpot good this time. Really bothers me since it was a very big part of my central exams, very very crappy. But you know, I’ll get this done, like anything else. Or at least, I keep telling myself that and I hope some part of me believes it.

I can’t stick my head in the mud for too long, so I’m enjoying these two weeks the best I can. Aaah I’m going to Paris next week! For four days, and I’m staying in this sick luxurious hotel with a whole spa-relaxation centre-thingie and it’s like 10 min from the centre of Paris and 15 minutes from Dinny-land! And this week I’m just passing glorious times with friends and making attempts writing shizzles on my blog (haha), but still finish on school stuff. Cause I want to go to Oxford and be a magician at everything.

A little sumthn sumthn different here; yesterday I was just watching tv, flipping through the channels with a speed of 20 channels per second, and I saw the new video of Pink (no, I’m not writing it with the exclamation mark, cause that’s dead lame). I’m not a very huge fan of Pink, but that’s maybe because I never really paid enough attention to her lyrics. Cause I heard one line and it really stood out for me; ‘’ Cryin’ scares me cause it screams the truth’’. But I though I heard; ‘’Silence scares me cause it screams the truth’’. And it really got me thinking, cause at times I just can’t stand silences and then I’ll start thinking about stuff that I shouldn’t overthink. But I also just liked the contradiction; silence and screaming. Maybe Pink should adjust her lyrics. Maybe I should just stick to what I really hear, instead of hearing what I only want to hear. But then again, why would I want to be facing the obvious?

Yesterday I made my favourite childhood cartoon; Blinky Bill! He was great man, I used to BE a blinky bill. I would only wear stuff if Blinky was on it. So I always ended up wearing coats, pants, shirts, sweaters, scarves of Blinky. Haha, man I was awkward. Anyway, I made a stencil, but I cut through one bridge, and it was his eye, but later I fixed it and I’m pretty okay with it, since I drew everything myself and had to think about lots of bridges. Little overspray but I’ll get over it. Up to the multi-layers!

Oh, I almost forgot! Last Thursday (after the horrible economics test) my school organized a prom, with a theme; James Bond. A really creative and original idea! Haha, it was pretty pathetic, they put a James Bond DVD in the beamer and it showed the menu of the DVD. I think I was the only one who had to laugh about that, but come on; wtf?! It totally didn’t add something to the ambiance; they did it just because it filled up room. Haha.
Blu's been busy

See ya!

Guess who's back?!

2008-12-12T09:08:00.007+01:00

Hello there, just some random things I witnessed FEBO for dinner.. so much for my healthy eating plan Hypnotizing light-circles, I'm feeling the christmasmood already Noukka is always so glad to see me Poor busstation... may it rest in peace Oh yeah, I have to tell the story behind this one. We didn't know what the S-A (before the snacks, on the sign) stood for. So we went to the two people who worked there and asked; hey what does S-A say? And they were like; SA, it's on the sign. We: we know that, we can see it, but why? They: I don't know, it's just the name, now what do you want?! We: Nothing, we actually wanted an answer. They: We don't have an answer, it's just the name of this place, now get out of here! (Okay.. they didn't say that, but if we weren't gone with the wind within a few seconds they would pretty much beat us up!). We: (with three flashing smiles) ENJOY THE EVENING!!! Well I guess you just have to react positive, even if you get the negative in return, that's how we do. I woke up this morning, and felt something ain't right..

I know, it's the most crappy quality ever, but hey, it's okay!

I'm sorry I haven't been writing enough but everyday I come home from school I'm just so exhausted and I only want to read books and sleep in bed. And I'm starting to act reckless towards school and stuff, which is I think, not a real good thing since it's likely this will turn in to a habbit. A bad habbit that is.

Last tuesday I had lots of fun with some friends of mine at the H&M! We had two classes, where you should work on your own. But we weren't feeling that so we decided to skip and forget about school for a few hours. After we went to the H&M I saw that someone from school called me three times in a row. It was sick and scary, still don't know who called me. A teacher said I had a secret admirer. Sigh, another one?! haha no, but it's weird since school doesn't even have my cellphonenumber..

I'll write more later, need to finish some school stuff!

Pump your breaks, and drive slow

2008-12-04T21:04:00.018+01:00

Punks!
Aaah, first I want to apologize for not writing enough! I mean, yeah I had a lot to do but I also had some spare time that I could fill in to write a new post. But I didn’t. And that’s pretty crappy of me! Anyway, I’ve got a large update, since there’s so much stuff rolling into my life right now. I’m not going to write shitloads, cause that’s boring and I bet you’ll fall asleep while reading my thirty-pages post! So, I’m going to tell errthing in short and I hope you’ll like it!

At first; A few days ago I woke up at 4 o’clock in the morning and I felt.. angry. Is that even normal, to wake up, out of your sleep and think; Gee, I’m feeling angry! Bu the point is, I did and I really had the urge to write something down. I don’t know if you consider these few mind-thingies as poems, but I think they show my feelings (haha at 4 o’clock!) … Hmmyea, here ya go:

Gasping for air
Clenched fists
Tightened jaws
Clenched teeth
Suppressing the bitter pain
Of the burning hole

Squeaking lungs
Grabbing air
For spilled words
Meanings without sense
Love has left the feeling
Lost without a trace

No control over pain
Feels like freedom of the heart
Is taking over
Which means feeling over mind
Unconsciously
Holding onto that
What you can’t grab on to
A rush, a sick one

I’m trying to think about what I did last Saturday,… oh god ofcourse!!! Haha my friends are going to kill me when they read this! But (to make it up to them) Saturday was a great great day! Even tho I felt like I could sleep for a month, I got up and bought a dress (Yeah, I do wear dresses!) and went up to my bestie Barros. She and my other friends threw a huge party in the Escape (it’s a club). They were planning this for months and they put a lot of effort into it, and it certainly paid off you guys! I’ve got a lot of respect for these girls, to organize such a cool party. Very cool people, Kynthos joined us and it was lots of fun. I even forgot I was sick! Haha, and oh right.. the theme was ‘’glamorous’’ but while the party was getting started, Cindy, me and a friend of Bar went to the FEBO. Haha, glamour who?! While we were eating our snacks I noticed the fatal mistake I made. I was still wearing my sick short dress, and I certainly wasn’t the only one who noticed that! We were being yelled at the whole freaking time! I can’t believe some women enjoy that, I felt like an object of desire or lust! But oh well, it doesn’t bother me that much.. So, the party was nice! Big up you guys!

The next morning I had to get up at eight to go kickboxing, after that I felt pretty beat up. But the day wasn’t over yet, nope.. I still had a huge party I had to attend to. Yep, ‘’Het grote feest van Sinterklaas’’ was waiting for me to get started. Since my kick-ass little brother is obsessed with the old man with the white beard, we had to unite him with his idol! And he had a great time, which means I felt intensely happy.

Later that evening I came home and I felt so exhausted! By then I knew I was getting ill and I wasn’t attending school the next day..súch a bummer man! Haha nah, but I helped myself up and Tuesday I had a dull day at school, just like Wednesday..but when I came home heidi called me up with great news; I won with the Hanazuki-workshop! The peeps of Hanazuki are going to make my French shrimp into a life-size crevette! Such an honor, I actually never thought I would win.. I really liked the surprise!

I’m arrived at today. Today I finally saw Twilight! And the movie was really good, but they left out a lot of scenes which were pretty essential to make it live up to the book. Jasper looked like he was on crack though, that was really funny. And the look on Edward’s face was funny as well, but he was still darn sexy! I think I’m moving to Forks, cause, Oh My Edward! (haha) Those trees were amazing!!!

Noukka, where's your jaw? I'll try to act normal the next time.. Roos, Noukka and Nina! (left to right) (We were watching Twilight...again) Haha, I think this was supposed to be monkey..? Watch it, at least.. listen to it!!! Love Fancypants

MLA-TV's debut!

2008-11-28T19:27:00.005+01:00

Pumpkins!

At school I attend a class, where we make short movies, films, take interviews and in the future, much much more!

We made a short clip which we place before every item we make.

Yes, that’s me kneeling and painting the M! (Left, in the corner)

Out of the box, into the cold

2008-11-25T23:05:00.007+01:00

Hi guys!

It feels like it has been ages since I wrote my last post! But I’m back with some renewed energy, even the Dutch blizzard couldn’t bring me own…go figure!

I had so many things to do since Friday, so the days almost flew beyond my imagination. Haha no I mean that the last weekend passed by so fast, before I noticed, it was already over! As I already told you, I subscribed myself for a very creative project; TOOLBOX. Before I’m starting off by telling you how amazing it was, I want to thank everyone who was involved in these three days. I even thank God for the great weather. You’re the bomb, made me feel like an icicle…Anyway, I would also like to thank the FEBO-man who made my day cause I made him laugh, even though he was making fun of my singing/rapping-skills…go shawty it’s ya birthday!

Uhh right! So, Friday I had the most terrifying day at school ever! It was complete horror, a nightmare you can call it! (I should be joining a drama-club) From 8.30, ah make that 9.00 (I was late, again) till friggin five o’clock I was placed in a group, of four girls, including me and we had to solve a evacuation plan! It was all math, and we understood the assignment, but it was pretty hard. And you had tot think very logically and think about several stuff at once. I’m probably not really good at thinking logically, and that sucks. But you know, the whole assignment was so stupid, I mean who’s going to count the seconds people have to wait to get downstairs and the amount of people going through a door when a whole building is on fire?! Math at times is so not related to situations in reality. But we need numbers to be exact, to know that there is a direction we can fallow in order to be certain. A-ha! That’s why psychology contains so much statistics. The bastards.

Alrihgt, I'm slightly drifting off, let’s get back to business; After the worst part of the day I luckily had something to look out for. TOOLBOX began, with it’s first workshop; Foam. We began by analyzing some photos that hang in the photography museum. A few pictures were pretty nice, I really like a photo if you can easily give your own meaning to it. With other werdz; if you see a photo and you immediately can make up a whole story behind it, it affects your feelings and your experiences and you give an explanation from your perspective in return. After we looked at the photos we had to make some photos ourselves. Self-portrets. You were very free in what you wanted to perpetuate. But the darkness and the cold outside worked as a disadvantage, in my opinion. Cause I love to photograph en plein air, with the changing lighting of the sun. But we had some fun, nevertheless. Heidi and I found a secret room, we sneaked into.. where I found a Spiderman-mask! I heart Actionfigures.

So we made some pictures there and went outside where Thomas (Yeah, I’m already giving you credits!) made a stunning picture of us. Though the photo was slightly rotated haha, but it was okay! I really shouldn’t mention all the useless info, I’ve never been able to tell a story in a short time. When I was a kid I would drive my pretty pappy nuts with all my nonsense haha! Oh, here I go again!

Attempt #2: Saturday was Reload, I felt like I needed hibernation and my hands were more than just freezing. If I grow up I’m going to live in a normal country, where the weather doesn’t get this extreme (I know I’m exaggerating, but I really can’t stand the cold!). But beside that it was fun, we had to make a koffer, haha sorry.. a cover for Reload Magazine and get a contact with Covergirl cosmetics worth 100000 dollars. Haha man, I’ve been watching ANTM a little bit too much! So errr, we made a cover and it was nice to work in peace, seeing the weather get worse, while I was inside. Made me feel all quiet, relaxed and warm. But the peace was disturbed by ‘’threetimesnothing’’ when he started to talk about milk containing a large amount of pus! (I looked it up, friggin 19 precent! Holy cow! Haha) It made me feel very self-conscious and it made me disgust normal milk, I’m only drinking biological milk now, because that’s made by old farmers sitting on a wooden crutch…right Soop.

Ah well, but Sunday was an exhausting day as well, first kickboxing and then waiting a half an hour in the cold for the bus. But I was reading Twilight so that softened the pain. I got there (at NOWHERE) and began by making dolls for hanazuki! Samira rocked, very upbeat person haha! We had a cool group of people and it was fun to make a French shrimp, a crevette that is! I think Sunday was my favorite day cause it was warm inside, lots of fun people, nice workshop and I left the toolbox with a warm heart.

I hope there’s going to be another edition of Toolbox, I’m already in! For more pics, visit the TOOLBOX-hyve; http://toolbox-nowhere.hyves.nl/

Can’t wait for Twilight!!!

Happy Holidays, mes meilleures crevettes!

entitle yourself to what is real

2008-11-19T18:54:00.003+01:00

This is weird, Some people can’t visit my blog!!! It’s really bothering me. How can I make my blog feel better, in order to let him accept other people, and in due time to embrace all the visitors? Haha, sorry, got caught in the moment. PS: I haven't figured out yet why this problem is occuring, but what I do know is that you can only open my blog in firefox, Internet explorer is a big NO -NO!

I don’t have a lot to say actually, but I do want to add to this post that I’m missing a few feelings. I miss sharing summernights with my brother. We would talk about the weirdest stuff, laugh at things that don’t make any sense at all. Haha and eat icecream while I would bump into a lamppost three times in a row! I miss the absurdity of loving someone, so much. My brother and I are pretty like a copy of each other. We act so much alike, but we’re pretty stubborn sometimes, and he’s really dominant. It clashes, but now I’m even missing that! Can’t wait for him to come back to my reality.

I wish it was already Friday; pitch of foam!

Oh, and may I add my source of ignorance? What’s up with all of those (fake) fur coats?!

Haha...Gerard, beat this! Don't set a standard for the shape of your personality

Once upon a time in the north

2008-11-18T17:32:00.004+01:00

Singing along with Drétje is rad, so rad.

Sunday my friend, bar turned eighteen!!! Hooray to that, and she threw a ''small'' party for her best friends and kick-ass family! Since her friends were also her catering-chiefs, we had to cook for environ 50 people! Bar chose for Greek/Turkish foods, even though the rice didn’t turn out great, the food was nice and all the people agreed! On a very weird way, I found myself serving coffee for all the guests.. but the coffee-machine and I didn’t really connect. So Rogier (Bar’s good friend) wasn’t very happy with his almost-cappucino. Ahh well, he already thought we weren’t the brightest people on earth. Due to Bir’s embarrassing moments! Haha.. Anyway, so we were quite tired but there was more than enough energy left to sing along with ‘’Zij gelooft in mij’’ by Andre Hazes. I truly deserve a statue of myself on the Albert Cuyp as well. But short after Hazes, we turned Katy Perry on! It was such a cool party, Happy birthday Bar, many more years to come!!!

This is a friendof mine, Roos, and she has a very nice voice! Check her out!

Who’s joining me the forth of December to Twilight?!

Paramore-Decode

Yet another poem, I like ‘m short!

I found myself

Then lost it

You lost yourself

I lost it again

A change is going to come

2008-11-15T17:48:00.004+01:00

Hi there smarties!

Has been a while since I wrote my last post, but I have been busy dealing with school and other non-important stuff that unnecessarily fills my mind. Today I went to the info-day at the HVA (for heidi, she’s going to rock Applied Psychology!) and after that we followed the white balloons and ended up at the University of Amsterdam. We signed up for the information-class of the Amsterdam University College. At first I was pretty much sceptical about it because it sounded like a vague study. But when I heard about the possibilities and the wide range of subjects you can choose from, I was sold!

Positives; - The whole study is in English!!!

You’re not entitled to one particular study, you can combinate beta, alfa and gamma subjects!

- You’re working on interesting social problems, we deal with nowadays.

-By learning about different subjects you’ll be able to see things in another perspective.

- 50% of the students are from outta space (haha no, I mean from other countries in the world, lots of Americans!). Which is cool cause You learn a lot about different cultures and you meet interesting people.

- It’s an overall fantastic base for my master. And because it’s an English, international study, it’ll be easy for me to do my Master in a foreign country!

Haha allright, enough about my enthousiasm for scientific studies! Although I gotta tell you, Einstein should really worry about his position in the scientific world. Cause I might be able knock the dude with my version of the theory of relativity off his throne! Hehe, Nah.. I wish. But I really want to make a difference to the world. Whether it has something to do with setting up a creativity program for special needs children in Zimbabwe or solving a major world issue. I’m not living, just because I was born.

So, we stepped into this store.. ehm, M.A.C I guess. And there was Salah Edin! Hahaha, and he was so awkward! He was big and the store was so small.. and it just made me laugh. And there was this woman who was wearing a hat.. with a weird attachment to it; a feather, sort of. I guess she was getting into the mood of Sinterklaas.

Yesterday I was feeling exhausted but I had to film a schoolparty.. I had fun with Flora and Keri, met a really cool kid with dreadlocks and another one who had the cutest smile ever. I would totally dump them in my high-productive-level-shizzle coffee! But unfortunately a kid took some pills with booze and passed out. I hope he’s o.k. now, stupid little boy.

Typhoon made a new video for ‘’Sprokkeldagen’’, think it’s pretty okay! I love the ending.

Bye homies!

Sleeping like a white rabbit

2008-11-12T14:17:00.006+01:00

Hi punks!

In a few weeks, I’m going to do this workshop called, TOOLBOX. Really cool! Some stores, a photography museum and a site full of creative writings; made some assignments and it’s for the people who join the box, to do these assignments! The pitches are extremely secret so you don’t have any preparation whatsoever! But you do have your creative mind and magic hands! (Your toolbox, that is!) And if you come up with a great product, it’s possible that they’ll use it! How cool is that.. innit?!

So sign up, don’t break your mind about it… but don’t get your hopes up about getting picked out, cause I’ll be there! Haha, no just kiddin around…

By the way, if you got some questions or comments.. just feel free to ask anything you want!

A little poem I made in the bus, while I almost fell asleep:

She stood there, holding the glass in her hands

Wondered about her fragile life

Wandered in alleys full of time

But she stood still, while cats ran by

The speed of emptiness filled her glass

She looked up asked herself how come

Pain brings people closer

I should do some homework now, buh.. I want to write a novel. But I don’t think I’m good enough. I’m scared I won’t have the guts to go all the way and finish it. I’m afraid of a bad result. Maybe it’s hard for me to accept that I’m only human, and that I have to make mistakes in order to accomplish things. A lot of times I want to do things perfect, in the first place. But I’m not like Herman, unfortunately. That’s all folks!

Made of materialistic stuff

2008-11-08T18:05:00.007+01:00

But I don't even like coffee.

A human, is nothing but a number I love numbers made of foam. They're so soft, in contrast to the harsh truth. This morning/afternoon friends and I went for a bellydance lesson! It was fun, but above all.. só underestimated hard! It looks pretty cool, easy and light.. but you need some leg muscles for it.. man! Fag, I'm really going to sign you up for a modeling agency! We came across a bar on wheels, with wasted people at nearly two o'clock... Shout out to all the people who were wearing black jeans today!

Random Rules

2008-11-07T20:30:00.011+01:00

HOHOHOOOOO!!! (Sorry, too early) Here are some random pics I found on ffffound.com! (And some I just found on the worldwideweb)

Love is; Sharing the depressiveness

Haha, dude.. this is SO not funny. But I just have to laugh about it.. they could've used some better-looking buns tho. He/she doesn't deserve this! Hahaha fuck Steen, I want this guy on my tee(am)!!!

The fear of big monsters taking over the city

I just wrote this down, don't really know what I want to achieve with this sentence. But I do know it's a fear that is shared by lots of kids. Including me haha.

Some random words/shreds that crossed my mind that I needed to write down:

Reckless

Regardless

Action

Reaction

Time

Out

About

Inside

Hide

Leave

Leaf

Light

Bright

Out of Sight

All these words do have a certain connection, it's for you to find out how it affects you. What meaning do you give these words? Words are just words, unless you hand them your personality. Give and Take

Obama makes the world go 'round

2008-11-05T19:15:00.008+01:00

It’s like the world turned upside down by the American elections, or at least my world. Especially by having to wake up at 3.30 in the morning to go to school! But it was worth it though! I’ll tell you what I’ve been up to since ehm.. yesterday. I woke up at 9.30, only to find out that I ignored my alarm clock. I had to wake up at 8, since I had some shizzles to do at school. So when I looked at my alarm clock I was first in this unrealistic, silent moment..then I freaked out; threw my blanket against the wall, got my stuff, rushed to the bathroom.. but when I looked at myself in the mirror, I thought: ‘’What the hell! Why am I so rushing, I’ll never manage to be at school in a half an hour, so who am I fooling?’’. Now, you could think this is the beginning of a rebellious Ilham, but you could also be rational about it. There are far more important things in life, than missing a class I’m not obligated to attend to. I got myself together and went to school. When I was done, I had a date with Cindy in ‘’de taart van mn tante’’. We still had to celebrate our birthdays together of four months ago! (Thank for the chocolate-recipe-book!!!) They have great, great, GREAT carrot-cakes! We were at first pretty pessimistic about the cake, I mean, who puts a carrot in a pie? Anyway, it tasted mighty fine! And I had a good time with Kynthos (Cindy).

Then I returned back home and left it already for Roos, she would pick me up at the ‘’Muiderpoortstation’’. I was wearing a pretty short skirt, pretty one of the dumbest things I did that day (besides sleeping through my alarm clock). It was dark, and there were junkies, offering me shits I don’t need, laughing scary dark eyes under dark filthy caps. The coldness reached to the level where I could scream at those nasty dudes! But I counted till five, drew an imaginary sheep in my mind and I was all calm and save. After we (Roos and me) had a long-lasting discussion on whether we should bake some brownies or not, we went to Roos’ house, where her little, supercute brother was playing Wii. We ate, laughed and ate some, went to a café nearby, returned home and watched the weirdest movie while Nina joined us and went to sleep after all. Woke up at 3.30, made a picture (haha, I’m not posting that one, you douchebags! I (yes Roos and Nina looked fine!) looked totally like one big pile of apeshit! Hahahaha. Ah well, can you blame me? Roos started to ignore all the dutch grammatical rules, and we didn’t even had a hard time understanding it..cause for fuck’s sake it was 3.30!

Roos needed cash. Tip 1: just open your piggybank with a can-opener!

Talking dirty with the webcam on...

We rode on bikes to school, through a fresh, silent Amsterdam and screamed to every person that we saw; OBAAMMAAA!!! Which made some people think they were being called Obama, haha. While Roos and I were singing ‘’Sinterklaas-liedjes’’ on the top of our lungs, I was so glad to live in Amsterdam. Such a beautiful city! Maybe I do have to represent Amsterdam, or at least Holland a little bit more…bring on those white skinny-jeans!!!

We got to school, made a picture of Roos trying to write Obama with light-graffiti. Meanwhile, Obama was already elected president of the U.S.A.! I was so glad for the dude, even though I felt a bit of empathy for robotic Cainie! It felt weird to be so early at school, but it was oke, I think this was the first and last time I would wake up so early just to go to school. Oh, while I was riding to school, I felt the urge to take the bus/a flight to Berlin or New York or Moscow or Cape Town just to experience something new, add more adventures to my life. But you can’t just be that impulsive, Obama was waiting for me at school ofcourse.

I’m curious for the changes Barack’s been preaching about! I really do hope he can make a difference in the world, cause we need it.

Walking down the street, with my Obama’s on! What’s next? Change Oreo’s into; Obama’s?

Entering the subways

2008-11-03T18:29:00.007+01:00

Hi dodos!

As you all already know, yesterday a friend and I went to the subways! If Napoleon Dynamite would’ve written this post, he would say; ‘’the subways were sweeeeeeet!’’. And hell yeah, he would be damn right! The support act, was kensington, didn’t know them, know them now! Hehe, but they were also pretty o.k.! After what seemed like an eternity at the time, was in fact a half an hour or so, until the subways came up! Charlotte was so cute and Billy.. haha yeah billy looked kinda sexy. The audience was a mixture of different people, but overall teenagers.

Oh dude! A night out, is not a night out without getting attention from creeps.. Well, yesterday I was the lucky one again. I was just standing, talking to my friend, when suddenly this guy, was shovelling up to me and almost breathing in my neck! I looked at him, and he looked pretty old and wore glasses, and ..he was so far beyond attractive! We tried to move to the side but he kept looking and acting weird! When the subways came up we found a spot that was from a reasonable distance.. But this story has a tail ofcourse, when I wanted to enjoy ‘’shake shake’’, he grabbed my schouders and was jumping behind me! Wtf man! Dude, some people just don’t know when to stop! I was utterly annoyed by this disturbed guy. But I knew how to shake (haha) him off, so I could enjoy the rest of the evening.

I later on bumped into saux pas, and his friend, who had a chipped tooth! Heidi and I left the melkweg and went for a sundae at the McDonalds. My replacement for the peanutbutter-jelly sandwiches. So, it was a nice nice night, can’t wait to see them again.

Saw this pic on the worldwideweb! Barros; an idea for karma?

Bye!

Rapunzel got nothing on me

2008-11-02T14:52:00.007+01:00

Salutations dear beloved goldfish!

Let’s get right to the point, I cut my hair yesterday. Yep, I was so tired of the same old long hair again (I’m truly like rapunzel, my hair grows soooo fast!)! So, I decided to just cut it all off! Hmm, I don’t know if it was the best decision I ever made in my life, but I’m pretty o.k. with it.

Sorry, it's pretty dark... heroes in a half shell!

Just to give you an idea of how it looks, from the side

Dora rocks, she inspired me…

Spooky Palin

2008-10-29T21:30:00.004+01:00

Happy Halloween! Seems like Palin is the perfect inspiration for this years' Halloween!

Love means sharing life

2008-10-29T20:19:00.006+01:00

Howdy Penelopes!

Yesterday I had such a frustrating, ’’ D’OH’’ –day! I’m not going to smack all the useless, stupid (styped! ;)) happenings in this post, cause it won’t do any good to it! I’m only admitting that it took me 4 busses, 3 trams and 30 minutes of walking to get to my running club (normally it takes me 20 minutes). But I want to mention that even though I was utterly annoyed and at the point of breaking into tears (haha, yeah.. I’m such a dweep, I get emotional from the littlest things sometimes) I held on, and I trained, HARD! Yeah, you could say I was pretty proud of myself, but if I compare that to the stupid things I did before I got there… It doesn’t really compensate.

Anyhow! Today was an okay day, Rix taught me a cool game during French class. Here’s the deal; you rip off a piece of paper, fold it at three places and then you get four squares, where you can draw something on. (From top to bottom) First the head, then the upper body, then the upper legs, and at last the shoes/feet. Someone starts by drawing the head, folding the paper and then passes on to the other person, who draws the next ‘’step’’. But you don’t get to see what the other person before you drew! So you keep passing on to each other, until all the body parts are drawn. When you fold the whole piece of paper out, you get surprised by the weirdest looking thing ever!

These are our creatures, rated on coolnessness (from left to right).

The first one (left) is named; Funky tiger superhero! (Funny, the head and the upper body match!)

Ah! I just had to post this pic! I know, it’s so irrelevant. But mighty god, I was só happy on that day, I shared it with a mighty great person, Cindy! It’s the day that I graduated, went to ty, was accepted at MLA, got a SLR-camera ánd at approximately 00.00 h, I turned 17!

The douche bag got picked out in Paris, beautiful moment as well (haha not just being picked out, but just being there and sharing those feelings with the other douche bags.)

England, a year and a half ago. And no, I’m not always representing Holland (slow snails; red white and blue clothing).

I was born a model, you idiots.

Dunno why I posted all these pics, but I like it…Good memories.

Allrighty amazing, frantalistic, (Rix’s favourite word;) Bombalastic maniacs, catch y’all on the flipside!

Stuffed-brains for desert

2008-10-26T16:10:00.004+01:00

Oh goodies!

Tomorrow I have a history exam! I really do like history, it's about the American history, lots of shit happened man.. cruel shizzels as well. Now I understand why most of the American people are always overreacting and acting fake and all. They have been lied to, and lived in bitterness for so long. But what shocked me the most was the times of slavery. Those huge, fat, probably bold Americans would buy male and female black slaves and let them breed baby slaves! Dude, how inhuman is that?! If I lived in that era I would totally put those fatties on a Sonja Bakker diet, the extreme one and let them starve and breed each other! Sorry I got carried away...

I should be studying now, but.. I came to the conclusion that if I study way too hard and fill my brains with six chapters.. I wont be able to answer the questions logically during my exam. I'm feeling a bit better know, first I didn't feel anything at all. Now I seem to enjoy food the most! How awkward! But it's getting out of hand now, since I'm eating the whole time. I'm not just eating to still my hunger (haha, makes me think of a lovesong (WTF!)); I'm eating for joy and happiness... Haha! I think I'm going to look like one of those mean slave-holders within a few months.

Oh, by the way.. I’ve got a call out to all of you; Do you know a good DJ? Friends of mine are throwing this kick-ass party soon.. and they need a great disk-jockey! The one who comes up with the best DJ will be rewarded by getting a ticket to the part-ay.

Greetings! (BTW: Watch out for an ufo!)

(You're warned)

Ti-Force without the guts

2008-10-24T17:03:00.009+02:00

He dudez!

My last post was kinda depressing haha! Even though I mentioned spongebob in it. Spongebob can be quite annoying too, his voice is just killing and he’s such an optimistic little dude! I love optimistic people, but he just pushes the limit and he’s a sponge for fuck’s sake. There has been one cartoon in my life I’ve really loved, and that’s Dragonball-Z. God, DBZ reminds me of those gold ol’ times when I used to rush from school to my abode, in front of the tee-vee. Nothing could distract me, I was so concentrated once I laid my eyes on trunks.. hmmm. Haha no, I’m just kiddin, Trunks wasn’t the only reason I watched DBZ, it was the overall storyline, and exiting fights but also intense life-issues ( Goku dying three-hundred times and gohan goin through such a rough period, but nevertheless.. he conquered his pain and became the strongest sayan!). DBZ also had some really great motto’s like; Where’s a will, there’s a way. So it wasn’t just like any ordinary simple cartoon you see nowadays at foxkids, jetix and that kind of crappy channels. It was a cartoon that had something to say!

So they decided to make a live action movie of DBZ.. I don’t know if I should be glad, or not. Cause, how the hell are you going to look like piccolo, and expect people to take you dead serious?! But on the other hand, ET pulled it off! Enfin, I’m totally going to see the movie.. even if it’s the worst!

My Misspiggy look just like goku, don’t you think? That Hitler-greet doesn’t look cool tho.

I was thinking about buying a typhoon shirt a while ago.. but then this bozo said a friend and I looked like groupies! Damn it! I was never aiming for that! I know I shouldn’t really listen to what people say, but it made me think about it.. For a short period of time I was convinced that you do look like a groupie when wearing a band’s/rapper’s shirt. But not for long, cause the reason why I would wear ty’s shirt is not because I want to promote his music, but because I like his music. You see, wearing a shirt has an intrinsic value. I don’t have a particular purpose for it.

(Just imagine this on a tee)

Yeaaah! I got my ticket for the subways! X

Down, to the bottom of the sea

2008-10-21T13:15:00.006+02:00

Hi there muscheln!

Sorry for the serious lack of inspiration lately, I don’t know.. I think I’m in some sort of a ''dip'' in my life right now. The kind of downfall, where you don’t really feel very down, but you can’t enjoy things or you just don’t feel very happy. I think I need something that can make me extremely happy, or maybe something that hurts me a lot. So I know I can feel, and how absurd this sounds; I need this to know I’m alive. I hate to be at this middle-thing, cause I feel cold, and so senseless. And I’m afraid that I’m going to feel just like I felt some time ago. Which is not me, which was an empty person.

It’s pretty risky to just throw yourself into public, or at least your feelings and thoughts. I don’t have a really hard time doing this, I believe everyone has an opinion about you, some bad, and some very positive. It’s just the way you are, and your perspective on things. I respect that, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to keep myself from being me. If you want everyone to like you and not wanting to get any criticism, you’re not a person. Or at least, you don’t have one personality, you have to change constantly and it would be hard to know who you exactly are. But on the other hand, I think people have to change, in order to become a better person.

Shreds of thoughts and opinions, they’re never ending, at least in my head.

Pass on to the materialistic part of life; Sunday I went and bought boots! I still have to adjust to the fact I’m wearing boots. I do wear boots, but not as mush as I wear sneakers. But I think boots are cool, and they make you feel feminine, but also tough. Oh I want a motorcycle, so bad! I’m getting pretty close to my girly-side (haha wtf, as if I also have a guy side) , hooray to that I guess?!

Here they are, they look just like the spongebob boots!

No patent leather tho

I’ve been kinda creative last night, I painted some geraniums in a vase a while ago. But I didn’t really like it. So I decided to paint it white again, and paint something over it. And see what effect that has, if I held it before a source of light. I’m still not done, but I really think it looks pretty cool. Just an idea for more paintings!

The not-yet-done original ^

Wish #7: Having more motivation on the things I do, going all the way, don’t hold myself back.

''Doe & Flow''

2008-10-18T12:03:00.015+02:00

Yesterday four chicks threw a party, mainly for the fashion show. Kiki and Josefine made a collection of clothes, in a short period of time, thumbs up! They held it in the sugarfactory, and the part-ay was called, do & flow. They arranged several acts for us to be entertained and most of the acts were the best performances I’ve seen in a while! Haha, a gipsy woman sang songs if you threw her your name. She sounded like a witch though, but she rocked the stage anyway. The Desperados (a band formed by some kids I know from school) were really killin’ it! Nérys (God, spare me if I wrote this wrong) did a great great job, I didn’t know he had it in him (makes me think of Juno)! Usually he’s this shy quiet guy, but once he got up there, he absorbed all the attention and reflected at us! And last, but definitely not least, the audiodolldoise were a part of the show as well. In fact, they were the show. Throwing with fish, wearing weird masks and having too perfect hair. You could slightly compare them to ‘’de jeugd van tegenwoordig’’. Only with more dance-steps.

Some pics:

No, we weren't early.. I feel like rocket! Marieke really felt like a rocket Flora on the right Mari-lou striking a pose before the show Haha no comment.. Capri-sonne meets tule My favorite! Overview, I know, too dark! Jos totally in space

I sure miss the midnight peanut butter and jelly sandwiches I shared with my bro..

Big up you guys!

The sleepwalker strikes again

2008-10-15T18:36:00.004+02:00

Hey yo bonobos!

I’ve been having a serious lack of inspiration the past week! Perhaps due to the bad, sad weather and stuff. This week I started to write, and think about all kinds of shizzle! That explains the long short story I wrote (my previous post). I hope you can understand the story, cause it has some double meanings, especially in the words he lost, his last word, and the ending. Most of the time I make stuff.. and I would be totally into it, but in the end I always make it harder for people to understand. Hmm aah well, if you don’t understand jack shit, you can always leave your questions or constructive criticism (hehe!) in a comment!

But I’m heading on to the things I do and did, Monday I went to a brainstorm session/meeting of casa 400 meets YDI (Young designers and industry, it’s like the organisation who came up with PalWest). And I was very honoured to be working on such a huge project, seriously.. they’re gonna conquer the world of hotels in Amsterdam! So they need a new uniform for the staff. We don’t have a lot of boundaries, so we can design in freedom! Yesterday I went for my first run at a new running club, AV23. And I did very well according to the trainer. But I don’t think I’m gonna stick to that group a long time. Sounds cocky, but I felt I could do way better than that. Anyway, trick anyhow.. I told you guys a while ago that I was interviewed by the Postbank. Lots of people came up to me and were like; ‘’Heeey! You were on the postbank email right?!’’ Me: ‘’ Haha yeaah, euhm.. I haven’t seen it yet!’’. Haha it took a while before I could see the thingie, but today I finally got it! Woohoo, but still not the whole interview! Just the FrontPage with the ugliest picture of me ever! There were so many good pics the photographer took, and he chose this one! Man!

I know, there are worse things in life.

OH! Tomorrow I’m going to get a pair of new kicks, whoot whoot!

OH! And today I saw my BFF (haha Frida Khalo presentation flashback (sorry, inside-joke)) Barbaweazy in the bus, and I totally didn’t expect that to happen, since I never see her taking the bus. But it was so funny because I didn’t see her in a week or so, and she was mad busy with her exams! So I walked very gangsta into the bus (with my ‘’barbie’’ headphones) and suddenly I saw someone waving and almost jumping and calling out my name! Very very nice surprise indeed!

Hiding his eyes behind a hat

2008-10-14T22:55:00.005+02:00

He guys, tomorrow a better shmupdate, today a short story, which turned out to be a very long one!

A long long time ago, in a galaxy so far away you could reach out to the stars, there once lived a very happy, good-hearted old man. He lived his life with his wife, Annygranny, with who he was very much in love with. Right next to them lived a young boy, named tom, but most people called him tommy since he was a menace. The old man and tommy would get in a fight every once in a while, in fact they argued every single day, every hour and if they were in a bad mood, they would fight every minute of their lives. Annygranny would interrupt their fight and tell the old man to buy a loaf of bread at the local bakery. The old man’s eyes would lit up and his heart began to beat to the speed of the high-speed train he got on every Saturday at 9 am. Going to the local bakery was one of the important reasons d’être for the old man. Just like throwing empty coke cans in the old man’s garden was a reason of existence for tommy. The old man would rush into his house, grab his one-dollar hat and leave the door for what it was. Up, for a challenging adventure, once again on his way to the local bakery.

With every step he took the close he got to the bakery, the more he felt his heart beating through his entire small body. He stood outside the bakery and looked through the front window, past the decorated cakes, into the bakery. He reached out to grab the doorknob, when suddenly the old man felt his heart drop, and get extremely heavy. By that time he knew everything wasn’t o.k. He rushed back to his house, only to find out that Annygranny left his life. A stroke, some said, but the old man knew better. His days grew empty, the fewer words left. After three months he completely lost every single word in his whole vocabulary. His last word was away, which was dedicated to tommy, of course.

No visits to the bakery, since there was no reason to, no getting up early since the morning left him cold. No goodnight kiss, since the evening grew taller. After years of silence, years of searching for the words he lost, tommy now tom, came by the old man. ‘’ Still no words huh?’’. The old man didn’t even look up, it wasn’t worth the effort. ‘’ You want to get a loaf of bread with me?’’. The old man immediately looked up, with pain, but most of all the emptiness in his eyes. These words weren’t for him to speak out! If the old man could, he would grab those words; put them in a box where no one could get in to. But the old man ran out of boxes, so the emptiness continued with all it’s bitterness. ‘’ If there’s anything else I can do for you, I’m right here’’. The old man looked down again, just when he thought tom left, he heard him say; ‘’I.. I am really sorry that I am’’. The old man didn’t understand what tom meant with by that. The next few days evolved around this last sentence. It bothered the old man that he couldn’t make any sense out of it. So he went up to tom and stood in front of him.

‘’ What’s wrong?’’ Tom answered; the old man looked him deeper in the eyes. ‘’ Shall I get you a piece of paper to write on?’’. The old man didn’t move, only his left eyebrow twitched. Tom returned and gave the old man the piece of paper. The old man looked down to the hands that were holding the post-it and the white bluepoint. The old man took the post-it and finally wrote;’’ I am sorry that I am’’. Tom looked with fear at the old man and said with a trembling voice; ‘’ I am sorry that I am’’. By then the old man was 100 percent sure that the worst day wasn’t caused by a stroke, it was caused by that sentence, coming out of that box.

They stood there, for what seemed like two cold minutes, were in real life thirty minutes. No words, just meaning. No apologies, just the feelings. Half an hour walk to the bakery could’ve killed the time, but it didn’t because they chose to understand. They chose to let their selves fill them with emptiness. It took the old man his whole life and all of his heart beatings to say; ‘’ shall we get a loaf of bread at the bakery?’’. Four laughing eyes, mouths full of forgiveness, that’s what had been missing for all those years, not the words.

Cheers!

One way, or another..

2008-10-09T17:57:00.000+02:00

What’s up, what’s poppin’?! A lot is popping in my life recently. As for yesterday I came home from such a long exhausting school day, when I saw an envelope lying on the table. I picked it up, and I saw seven stamps on it. The stamps weren’t the ordinary boring ones, no.. these were stamps with pics of my father (may he rest in peace) and my little kick-ass bro and a teddy bear.. oke this was not a photo, but I just liked to mention it. This letter was sent and written by my brother, who is (as you all know) in Malaysia right now, Kuala Lumpur to be exact. I opened the letter and it was a huuuuuuuge letter which he had written in a week I suppose. He wrote about how life is, how he missed home and stuff he has learned. It was beautiful and I had to laugh through my tears. He drew the funniest stuff and wrote in such a creative, inspiring way and it made me feel all fuzzy inside. But above all, proud.. proud that I can call this guy my brother. He wrote about what my father used to teach us, like things you can accomplish only by using your brains, soul and heart! He also wrote about the motto of our family; ‘’one way, or another’’. Oh how many times have I heard my paps saying that. I can still feel it, I wish I could hear it as well. But life wouldn’t be life without coping with the difficult shits! So I keep laughing through my tears and swallowing all my fears… Today at school there was this magician and you could sign yourself up, so he could tell spells on you. Haha no partly joke. I imagined this spacey, hippie, very old looking guy, with a beard you could use as a blanket. But then he showed up and didn’t look like that at all! He wore the weirdest glasses ever, they had this thing, uh.. it wasn’t a string but it held on to your head. It went from his nose to the back of his head.. he was bold by the way. He looked kinda oke, not very odd or sumthn. Then the magic became to happen and he made some kids fall asleep, unconscious and all. Some didn’t know their names and others couldn’t count anymore. I don’t know if I should believe this, some shitznit was pretty weird but most of the stuff was obviously fake. No pics this post, but I do have a short video! How about that, HEHH?! Enjoy the people that are surrounding you right now.. X

Tim burton makes me smile

2008-10-07T20:06:00.004+02:00

Hi there!

I’m kickin this post off by telling you guys that I’ve deleted two posts, that were irrelevant to my blog, and to me, as myself. The first one was the teacher-post, I still feel ashamed of the fact that even her pic is on that post. And the second post is the miss piggy one, oke haha what was I thinking? I mean, yeah.. it’s funny (like duh) but it just didn’t make any sense, in each and every way. But I still think piggy rocks anyway. I saw this little film on the NRC-website, and it just captured my heart. The music, the animation, but above all the little girls’ way of talking…One of a kind!

Much love!

These are my confessions

2008-10-03T19:31:00.003+02:00

Haha I can’t believe I’m actually doing this, but I gotta get it off my chest somehow! See, in my lost phase, a rough 6 years ago, I absolutely adored Craig David! Hahaha, but you know, he WAS really not that bad, he made some tracks with sweet lyrics. Okay, now it sounds like I was this hardcore fan, I wasn’t, I just felt very relaxed, listening to world filled with love! I really start to question myself if I was a hippie in my past life after all..hmm. But no shit, I liked him, not anymore, since his comeback consisted of a too muscled Craig, wearing shirts that are way too tight! And the most shocking, his little beard was gone with the wind! How could’ve done that?!

My faves, haha:

World filled with love

Fast cars

Oh yes, seven days o’course

HAHAHA, nooo! Oh! this is my replacement for Craig, for sure!

Enfin, I digged Craigie all the way… and I’m proud of it.

Now some real good music: The Loyalists maximum

(Props go out to Passie!)

Take it easy!

Having heavy boots

2008-09-30T13:30:00.008+02:00

Heeheeheee!

Here I am again, with a new short review of ilham’s exciting life!

Sunday eve I went over to Vera’s place cause she was throwing a party! I nice, cozy birthdayparty that is. She invited some other chicks and it was fun fun fun! First we had to wait for the others to come, since I was pretty early (wowzers!) and then vera’s mom made us delicious foodss! It was ‘’broodje pom’’ don’t shoot me if I wrote it wrong, I’m horrible at Surinamese, but I can sing the Surinam birthday-song by heart! Darn it! I should’ve sang that cool song, it would've matched great with the cassave..

Then we wanted to watch the movie but the dutch subtitles wouldn’t work, and as dutch as we are, we stopped watching the movie cause it was way too difficult to understand. They were talking about maths and brilliant MIT-students (it's okay, we didn’t know what that was either). Oh and the last time I watched a movie with crooked subs, I couldn’t watch the movie properly without laughing at the most serious moments. (flashback: Marieke had an illegal version of sex and the city from Vietnam! Haha, and they translated the words all wrong and some words were left out and replaced by greek words?? They translated ‘’shit!’’ into: ‘’DRUGS!’’).

''omygod, you guys…''

Anyway, we watched the perfect murder, and it was quite exciting! OH! And I gave her a kick-ass gift! It was a piggybank with chewinggum-balls in them, so if you threw in a coin and would turn the thingie, the balls would roll out! Vera went bananas over her present! Whoop whoop!

Yeah, she looked happier in real life!

Yesterday two girls and I had to film Thijs’ house for school, we’re making an mtv-cribs knock off. Thijs is a teacher at my school, and he also plays in a band, called ‘’ Hit Me Tv’’. They’re getting pretty famous now, they played at lowlands, soon in London! Greatness, my whole school is in love with him, yes including the guys. Oke nuff talk! Have a nice day!

Sunny Delight!

2008-09-27T20:02:00.008+02:00

Today was an easy, breezy, nice day! The sun was shining and I felt like riding a bike (wo-hoo!). So barbaweazy and I went for a ride in my hometown ofcourse! We came through a sea of people who shouted things at me, waved and laughed at us. Strange, maybe I should just stick to my scooter…hmmm. I know I shouldn’t complain and be frustrated, but DUDE, those tourists on the red bikes! If Alice in wonderland was by my side today, she would totally say: ‘’oh hemeltje!’’. They ride so slowly and in the wrong directions and stuff (oh no, that was me), and they talk way too loud, especially the German ones hahaa. But it’s okay, even though they put a little frown on my face at times; they are also the source of a good laugh.

Barbaweazy loves the glasses!

Don’t mind me

Oh I promised you guys some extra wishes!

Wish #4: These kicks, I want them so bad!

Wish #5: hehe:

Wish #6: I want my brother..

Oke mushrooms, enjoy the days you breathe in!

Dear Santa,...

2008-09-22T23:06:00.003+02:00

Hello (is it me you’re looking for…)

Sorry, it has been a while since my last post, really, I feel quite guilty that I don’t have the time to post! I know I can’t post, cause I’m running out of time, cause time is a roadrunner and it’s catching up with me, which sucks cause I don’t seem to enjoy stuff. I’m always worrying about having too little time to enjoy the moment, when I’m actually not even enjoying the moment cause I’m so busy thinking about the need to enjoy the moment. Sorry, my brains and thoughts just go on and on. I’m reading this kick-ass book; extremely loud en incredibly close, by Jonathan Safran Foer. Not gonna tell you what it’s about, but it’s extremely funny and incredibly me!

Last week I felt so tired, everyday felt like a long, exhausting day, not mucho fun, I’ll tell ya. But this week is different, this week it’s all about changing stuff and learning stuff. No time for tired excuses. Fresh start, fresh shizzle, new beginning, beginning of the end.

I’ll start with a wish-list. I believe you’re the only person in the whole wide world that can change things. Don’t wait for other people to do it for you, YOU take the initiative, you are living YOUR life. I’ve learned that in the end, everybody’s alone, yeah I know it sounds lame; Born alone, die alone. But it’s true. You live with people, they inspire you..they cross your path so you can learn from them, negative or positive. They even become a part of your personality! But still, in the end, it’s just you.. you have to make the decisions, whether you let people in to your world, or whether you choose to follow another direction in life. It’s really all up to you. So don’t wait for things to happen, you’re the narrator of your own life.

Haha, but I wanted to begin with my wishlist. (oh by the way, the statement I wanted to make with the whole (I hope) motivating story, was that you can always have wishes, don’t be afraid to be too demanding. You can always set your wishes into actions.)

Wish #1: I wish I could see myself just like a lot of people see me. I want to believe that I’m a good human being. I don’t want to be insecure, I don’t like needing approval all the time so that had to be the only thing that boosts my self-confidence.

Wish # 2: I wish people laughed a lot more for no reason. Just because they are alive, and they’re surrounded by living objects. Everybody is cranky all the time, nagging, cursing, acting weird and stuff… why? Why would you have to make your life harder and more tiring than it already is?

Wish # 3: I wish tourists didn’t ride bikes in Amsterdam. Haha am I contradicting myself right now, in what I said before? Oh dude, I’m nagging about tourists.. haha oke drop that, I love tourists, they’re like little naïve hamsters..

I’ve got a lot more wishes, obviously. It’s too late now, so next time more wishes, if you’ve got some funny wishes, feel free to share! More wishes to come!

Peace out & don’t let the bedbugs bite!

Medusa is taking over

2008-09-16T15:34:00.004+02:00

Hi errrbody!

^This is how I feel sometimes... haha! No need for explanation (Russia=import costs, sick!) KEEP THE SOUL ALIVE!

Fierce is an understatement

2008-09-14T19:17:00.004+02:00

This was the day, and I could feel it.. No just kiddin, I didn’t feel anything in the morning. I wasn’t excited, I wasn’t really happy, I felt pretty crappy, since I had to wake up as an early bird on MY saturday! But soon I was to find out, that the waking-up-early-on-a-saturday didn’t matter in the end. I tend to always be late on all my appointments, but yesterday, I wasn’t! I was the first one to show up! A short while after I got there Lotte came and accompanied me, and we saw a real-life digimon-character! I really liked it, he was wearing a head-band, a dress with red clouds on it and reeeeeaaly huge black boots. Oh and his hair looked like goku as a supersayan.

Anyway, fresh start of the day with Lotte, Kauwtar (she’s so funny and creative!), Kiki and Josefine. We decided to wait for devante cause it seemed he was approaching us in a high speed level. No, actually he was still in the metro, as usual haha. After we all finally got to the right track, devante wanted to visit his dad, who works in a store in the kalverstraat. Haha, dude, and the train would arrive in 10 minutes. Blabla, but then he went and missed the train… After a very productive (we were all making homework in the train!) ride, we arrived at Roffa and passed a street full of artworks.

But then then then, we arrived at the catwalk! It was quite small, didn’t live up to all our expectations.. bummer. We picked out our outfit for the show, mine was a blue dress, a grey legging and black pumps! Haha! I never wear pumps; me and pumps are like tom and jerry! Me being jerry of course. But then again, I hated the fact that jerry always won and that tom would set traps for jerry but they never succeeded! I felt really sorry for him. (I cried the episode tom died and went to heaven..). Oke sorry, back to reality, so I had to walk on those pumps, and I wasn’t too bad (is this cocky?)! After that it was time for the maquillage, the make-up. We were painted by the make-up team, house of orange! (covers for avant-garde magazine). They made spacey, 26^th century mad eyes, but that was nothing compared to my hair.. My hair looked like I survived ten plane crashes, three bombs and was electrified afterwards! You should’ve seen my reaction when I looked in the mirror; WHHAAAAATT THE FUUCK?! NOOOO!! And everybody absolutely adored my bird nest and I was definitely the climax of the show, I don’t know if I mean this in a good way.

We rehearsed a few times and then it was ‘’Showtime’’ I already saw the jazzfingersssss. The music pumped us up, and it felt like tom was setting traps for jerry in my stomach! Anneloes told us to look fierce and so we did, we went up there and it was fun! The only thing what was on my mind when I was walking was: oke, ilham, don’t fall, please, don’t fall!!! There were a lot of people watching, cheering and I bet they were laughing cause I looked like I belonged to a subculture far from here. We were done and I wanted to walk again, and again! But it was over, time to wash off the three kilograms of makeup and to wash out the five cans of hairspray. It took us, I think, more than a half an hour to wash off the make-up. It was worth it though, it was a good day…

Stay tuned l&g... X

Fat-free biscuits and caffeine-free coffee

2008-09-12T21:41:00.004+02:00

Hello pancakes and hotdogs!

(Yeah fasting makes my tummy growl)

Really, the rain is driving me nutssss!!! It’s depressive, soppy, wet (like duhh), dark weather and it just doesn’t match my o-so happy feelings lately! But oh well, tomorrow is the big fashion show!:O I’m so nervous but above all extremely excited! It’s going to be off the hook, off the chain, off the walls and off the ceiling man! Oh I haven’t told you guys what I have to do; I have to model, who would’ve thought? Well not me!

To set you guys in the mood for tomorrow, I’ll start with my new beauties I bought yesterday.

It just hurts my feelings, when I see this crap, and (trust me) I know I can design way better shoes than these…

Sean-da-paul! It’s hilarious.

Okey carrots, wish me luck!

Love, Iremu

Doodle all the way

2008-09-06T23:38:00.014+02:00

Hello super-cows!

I was just surving on the internet yesterday, when I discovered this rad website: http://wordle.net/create. You can upload your blog, or write down a passage of your favourite play (wtf?!) and the machine will create an image with the words you've uploaded! There's also an option for the amount of words displayed! Besides that, you can change the font and the colors! Way outer space right? Yep, that's what I thought, here are some creations, inspired by iremu's blog ofcourse.

It's so funny, I recognize every word, and I know which post the word comes from.

http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/

Also ffffound(.com) this blog on the net! I digg it all the way man, it's so creative and inspiring! This reminds me, I have to continue posting carbage cans, to maintain my hobby haha. I saw a very strange garbage can next to a busstop a few days ago! It looked like the statue of liberty... if this makes any sense to you.

'' Be all you can be in Gods army''

Peace N carrotS

Dolf, the dictator

2008-09-06T17:52:00.002+02:00

Wowzers, who knew cartoons contained a lot of cruel history facts?

Go on ladies have some fun

2008-09-03T23:02:00.002+02:00

So great! Haha, this made me think of me being a little iremu!

Crossing the street with a walking frame

2008-09-02T17:14:00.007+02:00

Whoop whoop! Hola peoples and lemurs! Oke, it feels like I haven't posted for ages, sorry! Okay, I'll just start right at the beginning. Sunday. Sunday was a really hot, fun, fuzzy-feeling, kind of day! First I had kickboxing training, and after that I had a meeting with my friends. We wanted to cook something good, barbara seemed very obsessed with the ''mozzarella-bollen''. She just couldn't stop talking about it, so we decided to buy some danish pastry and make the balls.. We went over to the C1000, but they ran out of the pastry!! Goddamnit! Ramadan makes the people go nuts! Anyway, slightly disappointed we returned back home, with pre-baked pizza's haha. After we ate some sandwiches we went tot the uitmarkt, which was shitty, since the music sucked. We sang along with ''dancingqueen'' of abba and that was the moment we realised, we crossed the line, and left! OH OH OH! I almost forgot to tell you the part when we came across a flasher! It was so disgusting, and sooo sick!! We were just cycling towards the uitmarkt, when all of a sudden, this metal-rock-kinda guy, grabbed his peepee out of his pants!:| It was soooo nasty, we were shocked and couldn't say a word, then we all started to laugh and regretted the fact that we didn't do something when we saw it happening! haha. Ehm, so yea... Monday I had this recruitment for cool people for the GARAGE NOTWEG. Which is going to be thé hotspot in Amsterdam soon! Lotte, gaia, sopa and me designed the logo and was presented as an animation! I also helped with the catering, we made couscous with vegetables and blue flowers..it looked too cool to eat, so in the end nobody ate it, that was a pity though. There were these two cute looking oldies.. they were so cool! They wanted clothes for elderly women, that would have to be trendy (god I hate that word), sporty but classy as well. They disguisted today's ''fashion'', they were all like, yeahh.. we don't like those low-waist jeans you guys wear nowadays, I don't have to see your pubic hair and shit! I was really shocked, they looked so harmless! Haha, and oh.. there was this Japanese guy, and he was so enthousiastic, and he thought I was a fooddesigner! He gave me his card and everything, he told me he could make the best sushi ever and things I never tasted before! Ooooh, how that made me curious.. OHOH! My name is IREMU in Japanese!!! Cause they can't pronounce the L. And a name can't end with just the lettre M, so they turn it into MU! hahaha, it so rad. Really, mad props! And yesterday, I had a photoshoot for the interview I did for the Postbank! It was really cool, I had to pose in front of some mannequins, a black board, and in front of a closet with colored fabrics on it! I hope the pics turn out well! Haha, and the interview went good as well. Today I had a french oral test, and I was the worst! I was very very veryyyy nervous, so nervous I had to laugh the whole time! And it was a dialog, so every time I had to speak, I was so focused and pronounced everything right, but when the other chick began to talk, I laughed my but off!! haahha, and the girl thought I made fun of her, since I was laughing the second she began to talk! The teacher looked at me as if I was totally deranged!!! Wauw, I really know how to impress people, I'm such a bad person sometimes... But hey! at least I didn't cry, I felt so good after that dialog, even though it affected Laura's mark, does that make me an evil kid? Hmm, ah well.. Ramadan has begun, I love this month! Oh, we made some pics on sunday and monday. I'll post them later on! Peace kids!

Source of inspiration

2008-08-30T19:00:00.008+02:00

Stay your course; fulfilment in sight Raise your sail as high in might To reach Your destiny not that of man You will have to acknowledge your nature As best as you can

A dormant alliance will arise To stand by you: unrecognizable Thus in disguise

Granting you the image Only to be shown In true dedication To your souls' own

To find true meaning Value your blood In fact; understand your heritage But don't stick your head in the mud

Keep your thoughts pure Your actions will bring healing Ask for patience not revenge In due time because with time you will be dealing

Property rights belong to ParcPoetry® and all affiliated Non-Governmental Organizations World Wide. This amazing poem is made by my brother! I get the chills, every time I read it.

Cool eigh?! A Malaysian clothing-shop, named after me! Haha Thanks poe-eehy! Buh-Bye!

MMM, delicioussssss!

2008-08-27T22:21:00.001+02:00

If you're a guy and you wear dora-socks, marry me.

Gotta own the lights, if you wanna own the night

2008-08-27T19:41:00.010+02:00

Hey muchachos and muchachas!

I’m not going to write a whole review about my dull adventures lately, since I have to write enough reviews for school.. Hmmm. Well, anyway, I want new shoes, like really really cool-fantastic-ubercrazy-ultramegaman-nutcase kicks! And this is what I had in mind actually: La tech, by L.A. Gear:

Oké, they're not the most beautiful kicks on earth, but they've got lights in them, and they're PURPLE!

But they’re quite expensive, 400 bucks! I guess I’ll just have to make them myself! Hehe

You've got the mooooves..

I think almost every cool kid, ever had these kind of sneakers with flashing lights. At least, I had! My kicks were white with pink and red lights! I can still picture myself rolling on my Barbie-bicycle, acting tough and all, just because my shoes lighted up! Haha, I can’t believe I was cute once, I had hamster-cheeks hahaha! I used to beat up kids if they hurt my friends! Afterwards I would get in deep trouble with their parents, and then I always ran away, as fast as I could, on my pink lights shoes. God, I was a happy kid…

OH! And,no..I'm not materialistic.

Bittersweet

2008-08-24T19:56:00.009+02:00

Gutentag!

Today, was a very tiring, mixed-up day.. I’ll just start right at the beginning. I got up this morning, at 9 oclock, which is quite early since I’m not a waking-up-early-on-a-sunday person. The reason why I got up so early is because I had kickboxing training! It was really fun and I felt so relaxed after that. But I didn’t had the time to relax, so I hopped on my scooter and drove to the WEST-SIDE (!!!) of Amsterdam. I had a meeting with some chicks to talk about the food we would present at the recruitment of the garage notweg on September the first. It’s going to be a social centre, for everybody in the neighbourhood! It’s gonna be a real hotspot, they’ll build this kick-ass theatre where you can sit on stairs or sumthn, anyway, the deal is so cool!

So first we began to talk about what we could do with the food and drinks. But after we talked about smiling applepies and houses made of marzipan, we pretty much decided to DO something. Karlijn bought a lot of stuff we could use which should lead us to some ideas. There were marshmallows, funny glasses, Chinese sticks, and pink fabric. The assignment was to combine food and a drink in one. We’ve had so many ideas, at the end we didn’t know which to choose! But we managed to make a selection…Here are some pics;

When we were done, two people from Austria (yeah, what the fuck, Austria?) came in, and wanted to interview us. Haha, and this cute woman was talking german the whole time, which was kind of funny! But the camera-guy, I don’t know, he just had something evil, not really pleasant I could tell you. First she asked us some shizzle about our heritage and believes, if those things affected our daily lives. But after that, reev and me, had to put on the clothes we made and we had to show them. Since reev is at the beginning of a great modelling-carreer, she showed me some tips and tricks on how to walk and pose. I decided to do some slight changes, but the camara-guy immediately interrupted my walk and said I was doing it all wrong! And he was all like, yeah you should do this, and then turn and blabla. It was so weird, as if he was like this famous fashiondesigner and catwalkcoach and HE was showing ME (!!!!) how to pose, COME ONN!! Haha, so that was a very awkward moment. Here are some pics reev took of Fatima (she’s completely deranged) and me. Some of them are a bit dark, sorry!

My hair lives it's own life Austria is the new Hollywood, no shit.

So when we were done, I wanted to drive home, with reev on the scooter. Not really a bright idea, since she had no helmet. But we were stubborn and neglected the laws! Still, karma has the power to set things straight. No we didn’t get caught by the cops, no.. worse, we fell. And HOW! It was such a stupid fall! I had to make a turn, but it was a charp angle, and we were quite heavy so we fell in slowmotion on the ground and I also saw in slowmotion how my front light got all fucked up… yeah, that was shitty. But you know, shit happens! There’s nothing I could do about it, it was all karma!

Bye!

''Peak-tails'' are a sign of authority

2008-08-23T20:51:00.001+02:00

I KNEW IT!!!

I bake them cakes as fast as I can..

2008-08-23T20:22:00.006+02:00

No shit, I really do! There's one thing in the world that I love so much, but I screw it up, most of the time. And that's cooking..See, when I start cooking, I'll do everything according to the cookbook. But then comes the weird part. Then I get all enthousiastic and impulsive, and I'm starting to add irrelevant ingredients and mess the whole dish up... But today I wanted to make something really easy, simple and quick! I ended up making cookies! I love oreo's, so I wanted to make cookies similar to the lovely oreo's. After some brainstorm sessions I decided not to make the knock off oreo's . But just normal biscuits with jelly or chocolate in between! Sounds really easy huh, well not for me, since I had to keep myself from going totally into the wild with other ingredients. And in the end, I think I did a good job! They were great!

I'm such a nerd.. AJU!

Rest & Relaxation at last

2008-08-21T19:41:00.007+02:00

Hey kids!

Life’s pretty good right now, school is cool.. still have to adapt to the new shit. But I think I’m gonna be alright! What really calms me down lately when life is such a rush is Nujabes! Yes, Nujabes. I’ve heard of him quite some time ago, but I never really listened to his beautiful music. Untill a few weeks ago, really all his collabs are genius, some of them are almost magical… haha.

This Japanese hip-hop producer/dj has released four albums; Metaphorical music, Modal soul, Hydeout productions 1st and 2^nd collection! He also collaborated with CYNE, Five Deez, Substantial, Tsutchie and Cl Smooth. Enough said, just listen and enjoy.

Nujabes- Horizon Nujabes- Wind speaks Nujabes- Hikari Nujabes, ft Cise Starr (Cyne) and Akin- Feather

Oh, and by the way, I'm immigrating to Japan. Love, Ilham

Having tea with a chimpanzee

2008-08-19T17:17:00.005+02:00

Hi guys!

Yesterday I thought I had school and stuff, but I didn’t. So I ended up visiting the noordermarkt with Vera and a friend of hers. The weather sucked, rainy and depressing. But we had lots of fun at the market! Despite the bad weather, many salesmen were singing to each other. And there was this kid that was blowing on a funny flute, which was cute but also kind of disturbing..hehe. After we ate some loumpia’s (still morning), we rolled over to a booth where you could buy stones and jewellery. Vera went bananas over there and bought so much stuff, even a little weird thingy with jesus, making a sort of peace sign on it! Anyway, the guy soled a lot of stones, and we were just looking at the stones, when suddenly he began to explain that you should put a stone in a glass of vodka and put it near the window. And if you drank it the next day, your body would be cleaned. So we were all like, wow, how does he know such things? But then we looked at him, and he was reading everything from a book, and every time I asked something about a stone, he would grab his little book and start to read from it. Haha, I thought he rocked. But he wasn’t the only one who rocked, no, my bag was waaayy cooler. After we bought the things, and walked away, busy talking about his too-damn-high- prices, I felt something jingeling near my bag. So I grabbed my bag and I had to accept the fact that MY BAG stole a pair of earrings!!! We were so shocked; the earrings weren’t even that beautiful, bad bag! If you’re planning on stealing, at least steal something cool for me!

Vera trying to impress the stone-guy, doesn’t she look like the modern version of inspector gadget?

I want a zumoval.

It was quite cold, so we headed over to vera’s place and talked about insurances with her dad. I always seem to have interesting conversations with my friend’s dads.. hmm, odd. Then we decided to go to the movies, we wanted to see wall-e, but the movie started too late, so we went to mamma mia! I knew it was a musical, but it was just too too too much! Every two minutes they began to sing, dance, jump, run and overreact! But it was really funny, even though I was exhausted when I left the theatre.

So today was the first day of school, and It seemed really nice! I’ve got a kick-ass mentor, and my classmates aren’t bad at all! The less fun part of the day was that we had to make schoolpictures, and I hate schoolpictures. I just can’t smile on command, it’s so hard!! But we all had this really gangsta pose at the end, so that pic should look okay!

Okidoki sorry for this long long post, next one's going to be shorter!

*Making the crooked Jesus-sign* Peace out!

Are you carnal very often?

2008-08-17T21:30:00.003+02:00

Well I’m certainly not! Haha. After almost an hour of chitchat with sopa, he kinda convinced me to watch this movie, called: Everything is illuminated. I’ve heard of it before, but I always thought it had something to do with science or nature. Well, I was pretty close, since the scenes that were shot in the nature, were superb! But that wasn’t really what the movie was about. I’m not going to write a whole review about it, but I am going to explain the short important things. So here’s the deal; this guy, Jonathan Safran Foer (Elijah Wood) (Really, no matter how hard I try, I just can’t get the little hobbit out of my head. Especially when they began to talk about rings!) starts a rigid search for Augustine, a woman who saved his grandfather from the nazis. He’s being accompanied by a Ukrainian dude, Alex, his grandpa Alex and his dog; Official seeing eye bitch. So they travel by car and learn a lot about each other, which leads to extremely funny conversations, due to Alex’s broken English!

What I also liked about this movie was that it combined humour and drama very well. I was touched (yeah touched, I didn’t cry though, sorry soop.. I’m cold) by the emotional and rough scenes but I laughed my butt off in other parts. It didn’t feel like two movies, it was one hella good film! Recommend it to y’all.

So Today I wanted to do something creative, paint, draw, go wild! But then I realised I left my paint-box-thingie, with all the creative equipment, at my friend, barbara’s house.. Hmmmm, that kind of sucked. BUT! It wasn’t over yet.. nah.. I still had some left over brushes, sprays and textile paint! So, this is what came out of the creative-rush. It’s pretty psycho, right? I think it’s burlesque meets giraffe meets anne frank meets pop art ( the dots on the face).. Man I’m fucked up.

I’m going to make the Z right now, school tomorrow… ugh..

C-ya!

Bye Mr. Fancy Pants...

2008-08-16T16:50:00.010+02:00

Woke up early, after a night without any sleep, but full of memories of my brother and me. I got up with a weird feeling, already trying to imagine six months without the dude. But I still had a few hours to enjoy his company, and to not think about what's ahead of us. We (My family and I) were all laughing, talking and avoiding that what was about to happen. Untill he was all packed, and ready for set off, I gave him my gifts and then we both realised that this wasn't just a little trip to Hawaii. The tears began to poore and I kept telling myself that time goes by so fast, and he'll be back before I even know it. He went over to the gate, red eyes, soft smiles and waved us goodbye.. Yet another person I have to be missing. I wish him all the best, god bless him. X

Where did you think I got my English skills from?

2008-08-15T21:12:00.005+02:00

MMMkay! So how on earth could those tv-folks send this shit out! Don’t they know that they’re messing all those kids up! I mean, come on: KRAAIING, supposed to be crying? And laughing is a freakin verb! Ah well, at least the old fat scary clown always puts a smile on my face!

But here’s the shocker: Adriaan is not only Adriaan, no no, Adriaan also plays the role of ‘’de Baron!’’. What the hell???!! I’ve been watching B&A for years, and I have never noticed that those two are actually one person! It pretty much bothers me! Cause, bad supposed to be bad, and good good.You can’t be both! At least not in movies, series nor in cartoons! Even if you’re just acting! (Wow, how conservative is that..)

I really don’t know why this is such a biggie for me, perhaps it’s because I can’t cope with the fact that I haven’t noticed it before, I guess..

Oh, ‘’Vluggie Japie’’ and Bassie, were also played by the same person. I already knew that though, and besides, vluggie japie isn’t really bad, he doesn’t curse and break phones. No he’s just a nutcase, so I forgive him…

Enough B&A, pass on to some realistic stuff. My dear dear brother leaves tomorrow for kick-ass Malaysia for a HALF YEAR! Gonna be a hard time for me, and it’s starting tomorrow… wish me luck!

Tenks for reading! PEACE!

Vers van de Pers

2008-08-13T18:31:00.008+02:00

Hello there boys and girls!

Welcome to my blog, I was planning on making a blog for like, almost a year.. But I never really had the time for it. Well actually I had, but I was just way too lazy to keep posting everyday. I suppose I should introduce myself, but I'm not going to do that. If you keep reading the shizzle I post you will get to know me. Summer's almost over now, school's starting again and I thought this is the right time for a new beginning. So I hope I can post a few times a week! But first things first, I write almost errrthing in english cause I seem to express myself better in english. My english isn't very good yet, so sorry if you have some wtf-moments while you're reading my posts!

I started this blog because of my new hobby; collecting photos of garbage cans! Now, you might think I'm this crazy hippie loonatic, but i'm not. Really.

A few weeks ago I was in spain and my bro was calling me poubelle the whole time, I don't know why, maybe he had a great connection with the word or maybe he just sees me as a garbage can. Haha. Anyway, I was taking a picture of a garbage can, I still don't know why, but I was. And my brother asked me: ''hey, so you're collecting garbage cans for your online gallery?''. And the rest is history! I combined my love for photography, my love for garbage cans, my love for writing and started this shit. I'm going to write about music, art, things I do on a daily basis, things that matter in life, and things that don't matter at all! I hope you'll enjoy it!

I took this pic while I was heading to Morocco by ferry. I really liked the colors, bright yellow and the vintage looking image on it. I heard some disapproving people saying: ''why is she taking pictures of a trash can? Sssshhhtt! Maybe she's a special needs child!''. Yeah, these are the comments you live for man!!

You can't see it on the pic, but all the trash layed next to the garbage can, instead of in it!

Haha, By the time I got on the ferry I went and took a look around, see what's up. When I heard my brother saying: '' Have you seen the pool?!'', then me being all excited and already planning on jumping right into it the moment I see it (even though it was too cold and the sun wasn't shining), I went to take a look, and I immediately changed my mind on the jumping into the ''pool''! It was so depressing, the pool was like, 1 by 2 meters or somethin, and even though they put a net on it, there were bottles, paper and all kind of trash in it! You can see there's a guy picking up the trash next to the pool, I bet he just threw it into the ''pool'' when everybody was gone!! But I had a good laugh about it, spanish ferrys are the best!

Catch y'all on the flipside!! So stay tuned!